Page 75 of The Last Dragon King
Understanding dawned on my mother’s face and she inclined her head, reaching out to grasp my hand. “You do what you have to do, Arwen. You’re going to be a queen. You have a duty to the people of Embergate.”
Duty, there it was. I knew she would say it. I wanted to do right by my sister and everyone else, but it didn’t make it any easier.
I nodded. “But this isthreewomen, to give him the best possible chance.”
My mother winced at that but then rubbed my hand. “It will be a winter, maybe two, of wondering when he goes to them, and then he will have his heirs and you will have him forever.”
“But… lying with them and then lying with me…” A tear slipped down my cheek.
My mom wiped under my eyes. “If your father had denied me, Adaline would not exist.”
It was as if she’d taken my heart and squeezed it. As much as my little sister annoyed me at times, I couldn’t imagine a world where Adaline didn’t exist. She was right—I knew she was right—but I still felt unsettled by the whole thing. “Thanks, Mom.”
A winter or two until a healthy heir was born. I could do that. I was young and it wasn’t that long.
* * *
After my mother left,I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was walking into a marriage that might devastate me. I needed to see Drae and lay down some ground rules for our new arrangement. After asking Narine to settle my mother and Adaline into their guest apartment next door, I had her notify Drae that I wanted to see him. Then I paced the floor in my apartment and wrung my hands together as anxiety built up inside of me.
The door suddenly flew open and I jumped. Drae was there, wearing his black dragon scale leather printed royal armor and looking as handsome as ever. I didn’t care that he was seeing me in my dress. I needed to say this to him.
“Tell me you aren’t canceling the wedding.” He grabbed his chest as if a physical ache had taken up residence there.
I smiled and shook my head. “I am not.”
He sagged in relief and then shut the door behind him, his eyes raking over my body and the white lacy dress I wore that was a symbol of my purity.
“Are you unwell?” he asked, reaching to take my hands in his, feeling them for warmth.
I sighed. “I do not relish the idea of sharing you with other women, so I have some rules that I would like to discuss before our union.”
He visibly flinched at my abruptness but nodded.
“I do not want to know when you have bedded them. Donottell me.”
“Of course,” he agreed.
“Have a bath before you see me. I do not want to smell them on you either.”
“Yes, my love.” His face fell and I could see that he hadn’t really thought this through. My heart hurt to even have to say any of this.
“No Kendal,” I whimpered. “She is my friend from home. Try with the other two first, and if no healthy child comes from it, then Kendal is a last resort.”
He pulled me into his arms and wrapped them around me. “I don’t want to do this at all. I’m not sure I even can. I only want you.”
A sob died in my throat. “You have to,” I managed to get out. “This is bigger than just us. You have to. We will get through it together.”
The realization that I would never become a mother hit me like a ton of bricks.
“I’ll never be a mom,” I said suddenly and he pulled away, looking at my face in horror. So he hadn’t thought of it either.
“I… I’m so sorry, Arwen.” He stared down at his feet and then went stock still as if realizing something. “Youcouldbe a mother if you bedded someone else. We could raise the child together…”
These were not conversations I wanted to have hours before my wedding. Bed another man? Have another man’s child? Both of us sneaking into other people’s beds? It was not the life I wanted to sign up for.
“Calston is loyal. He would… agree to an arrangement. He’d let me raise the child,” Drae said, but his voice was thick with hurt.
Raise Cal’s child with Drae? Bed Cal?No.
