Page 72 of The Last Dragon King
If Drae and I were at risk of having a child who wouldn’t even live more than a few hours, it meant that he’d never bed me! I’d die with my purity while my husband slept with half the realm.
No.I can’t.
A sob ripped from my throat, startling me. I hadn’t realized how much I’d allowed myself to envision a life with him. How much I’d grown to care for him and see myself by his side. I didn’t know where I was going until I saw the small outcrop of weeping willows up ahead.
A resigned sigh escaped me as I ran to the comfort and devastation that those trees held. It was as if this small piece of land was a place you could fill with your sadness. Drae and Amelia filled it with the loss of their children. Then Drae filled it with the loss of her and another child. Now I would fill it with the loss of a future I would never have but was promised to me for a mere few hours. That’s all it took to break someone, a few hours of hope. When ripped away it left a gaping hole that felt impossible to fill.
I knelt before Queen Amelia’s grave, unsure why I’d come here, why I was standing before her resting place of all people.
Maybe because she would understand—perhaps the only person who could. They might have had an arranged marriage at first, but they had grown to love each other. She would understand my sorrow at losing the chance to be properly loved by him.
I looked out at the other small gravestones and my heart grew heavy. What had started as a simple and joyous task, having a family, had ended in horrifying loss. No parent should have an entire graveyard of their young.
None.Not ever.
I realized then that asking Drae to remain faithful to me would end just like this. In a field riddled with children who lived only moments. Numbness spread throughout my body as a heavy depression settled over me.
I couldn’t give him what he needed, what our people needed, and if Kendal or one of the others could… then I needed not to be selfish.
A twig snapped behind me and I spun, standing and putting my arms out to fight.
Upon seeing Drae, I relaxed and wiped at my eyes.
He looked stricken. “I should have never asked that of you. I don’t know what I was thinking. I… Dr. Elsie gave me the information and I was still processing. Arwen, I love you like I’ve never loved another before, and—”
“It’s okay.” I stepped closer to him, taking his hands in mine.
I glanced over my shoulder at the gravestones. “I know what you’ve been through. I would never knowingly put you through that again.”
He froze.
“Are you denying my hand in marriage?” His voice broke.
I shook my head, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “I am not. I am simply agreeing that you should try any means possible to have an heir and save our people.”
His face relaxed and his lips curled into a smile. “Ourpeople.”
I shrugged. “I am about to be queen after all.”
Stepping closer, he stroked my cheek. “You’ve always been a queen. I should have never tried to downgrade that title by putting you in my guard.”
“I like being in your Royal Guard, my lord,” I said formally, and he smiled.
“A king whose wife is in his army? This may be a first,” he agreed.
I leaned forward and brushed my lips across his cheek. “I will admit I am disappointed that our wedding night won’t be complete.”
I pulled back to look up at his stormy eyes. Reaching out, he slid a hand up my thigh, causing ripples of heat to bloom between my legs. “Do not say such insane things. Our wedding night will bemorethan complete.”
I frowned. “But… if we are to avoid having a child—”
He leaned forward and trailed his tongue along my collarbone, causing my legs to go weak. “There are ways to avoid pregnancy, my love.”
My love. I wanted to hear him say that at least a million more times.
I threaded my fingers through his hair. “I see no reason to delay the marriage. As soon as my mother and sister can get here, we should wed.”
His laughter rang throughout the space, chasing away and breaking up some of the grief here. “Eager. I like that.”
