Page 110 of From Rome, With Hate

“You’re going to be okay, Rome.” Julianna runs her fingers through my hair, forcing me to keep my attention on her, but I feel myself slipping away. It feels the same as it did when Enzo Mattia’s hands were clenched around my throat.

“You need… to know something… Lark,” I croak, lifting my shaking hand to trace Julianna’s smooth jaw. I run my thumb over her full, pink lip, wishing I could kiss it one last time, but I don’t think I have the strength. “In case I don’t have… another chance to tell you. Because I don’t ever… want you to doubt this… ever again. I meant what I said on our wedding day… and then again on the day we decided to… separate.”

“What is that?” she asks, her chin trembling and her eyes narrowing.

But I can tell she already knows.

“You’re the love of my life… the loss of my life… and everything in between.”

The black dots clouding my vision grow, and Julianna fades.

“You were worth every second.”

THIRTY-TWO

ROME

Flashback

Everything is cold. My hands, my arms… my heart.

My leg won’t stop bobbing up and down, like it has a mind of its own. I clamp my hand on top of my knee, willing it to stop.

“Rome.” Julianna’s voice shoots straight for my heart. An arrow driven deeper with every breath.

Absentmindedly staring at the rug beneath my feet, I move my hand from my knee and anxiously twist my wedding ring around my finger.

“Rome,” she says again, this time her voice tighter, stronger.

I bring myself to look up, and when I do, I immediately regret it. I shatter all over again. The arrow in my chest changes to a massive knife. Just looking at her feels as if I’ve died a million times over. Part of me wishes I was dead, then this wouldn’t hurt as fucking much.

Tears stream down her soft pink cheeks, trails of black mascara staining her skin. Her eyes are broken, staring at me with both disappointment and anger.

“Are you going to fucking say anything?” she asks, gesturing toward me with her hands. She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees, covering her mouth with herpalm. A sob breaks free from her throat, causing her shoulders to wrack uncontrollably.

Unable to give her an answer straight away, I look back down at my hands. I twist my wedding ring before moving to my Montgomery signet ring on my right index finger.

“I don’t know what to say.” I’m honest, knowing I’m exactly who I was told to be.

I’m the man my parents raised me to be.

Ruthless. Heartless. Soulless.

“I’m telling you that I saw you with Macy.” Her anger boils over.

“And I saw you with Will,” I bark back.

She blanches, blinking rapidly as her head jerks back in shock. I can’t help it. I’m seeing red and I don’t feel like myself. I lift my hand and massage the back of my neck.

Julianna curls her delicate hands into tight fists on her knees. She sucks in a sharp breath, pinning me with invisible daggers. “I told you my father had already set up the dinner. I couldn’t give him a reason to think something was wrong.”

“You could have told him no.”

“No, I couldn’t.”

“Fuck, Julianna!” I shout, then stop myself. I’m fucking losing it. Frustrated, I tug on the ends of my hair and stare at the rug between my feet. “We’re going around in fucking circles.”

“Well,” she scoffs, drawing my attention back up to her. “At least I’ve given you my reason for being with Will and you know nothing happened between us. But you… you’ve said nothing about being with Macy, and I saw you with my own two eyes. Her hands on you, your body pressed against hers. What’s your defense, other than being drunk and high? Which isn’t an excuse, I might add. You have nothing else to say?”