Page 20 of Acting on Instinct
Durham, N.C. was eighty miles north of Fort Bragg. It took Kira about an hour and twenty minutes to make the drive.
Same for Ty.
Kira didn’t know why it upset her when Ty made the trip on his own, whereas she was fine when she was in the car with him.
She’d never been in a car accident and didn’t know anyone who had been seriously injured in one. So, it made zero sense to her as she and her psychiatrist explored why Kira’s anxiety spiked when Ty was coming or going.
But that particular stretch of road, between her house and Fort Bragg, felt vulnerable to her.
Kira thought it was because Ty was on the road because of her. If anything happened to him, she was the catalyst. It was her fault. An unimaginable horror.
These thoughts were laughable, since Ty held one of the highest-risk jobs in the military as a Delta Force operator.
But he specifically trained for that risk and had his Echo brothers and the might of the military behind him should things go sideways. She was never afraid for him when he was on a mission. She absolutely, one hundred percent believed in his skill.
The dangers of Ty’s work were part and parcel to his military life.
The highway was personal.
When Kira had broached the subject, Ty squeezed his eyes together and held his belly with both hands as he tried hard to hold in the laughter.
Something about his mirth felt like it was tempting fate; it doubled her anxiety, and she’d started to cry.
Kira hated that.
She wasn’t a delicate flower.
She wasn’t an emotional basket case.
In the past, she wasn’t, anyway. Things had changed.
Now, Kira wasn’t wholly in charge of her emotions. Her psychiatrist said it was going to take time to reset her nervous system. “Be patient, treat yourself with grace.”
Kira thought that almost two years was too long. And wondered what she was doing wrong that kept her from making progress.
As soon as her tears started to flow, Ty’s eyes filled with warmth. He looked at her with so much love as he held out his arms, “Oh, sweetheart, thank you for caring about my safety, it means the world to me.”
Kira’s anguish disappeared as quickly as it came. The roller coaster of emotions she’d been on since they’d met definitely wasn’t something she was getting used to.
Though it was also true that when Ty was around, the crests and troughs of that roller coaster resolved much quicker with less variability. It wasn’t smooth sailing; she navigated choppy waters, for sure. But Ty had a way of soothing her soul.
And Kira thought that might become a complication.
She didn’t want to be the kind of person who could only feel okay in the presence of someone else. It would be a burden for Ty whether he acknowledged it or not. Kira thought he’d probably put up with it because he felt somewhat responsible.
Which he shouldn’t.
Kira definitely recognized that Ty Newcombe could easily become her drug of choice if she wasn’t strong enough to be comfortable feeling uncomfortable.
This morning, her eyes popped open, and she’d pulled her phone toward her to read the time stamp at the very moment when Ty said he was getting on the road. Her subconscious must have been keeping track.
Kira and Ty had to snatch what hours they could to be together, so Ty was driving up early to exercise Rory in the park, and they’d all be ready to start the day.
The highway should have been clear in the wee hours of the morning—absurdly early for Kira’s system but a norm for Ty and Rory. Even still, she lay there dealing with her anxiety for one hour and twenty minutes. The stress abated just before the sun peeked over the horizon, when she heard Ty quietly let himself into her house, toss his keys in the bowl on the hall table, and put on the coffee pot. Then he was gone again as he and Rory took off for their morning jog.
Kira got up to pee and brush her teeth, then slid right back under the covers.
Ty’s regular ten miles with Rory took time.
