Page 72 of A Duke in Her Fate
Her breathing was calm and deep, he noted. Unlike his. He was still pulling himself together. Though the physician was gone, giving his word that she would mend, Ronan struggled to remove such doubts.
No one else saw her on the ground like that. No one else saw how frail she was, how broken she appeared. I’ll never get such a sight out of my mind.
Most of Isla was covered up. Her maid had done a fine job in cleaning her up and dressing her in a fresh nightgown that clasped neatly near Isla’s neck for her modesty. An extra blanket had been brought over to cover her, and extra pillows allowed her to rest easily. She almost appeared like a comfortable queen luxuriating in such finery.
But there was a bandage winding its way through her hair, a leg elevated under the blankets, and dark circles under her eyes that betrayed the truth.
He hadn’t been scared in a long time since today. How the fear clawed at his throat, threatening to undo him. Already Ronan knew his cravat was loose and his garments were most likely ruined in mud. Someone had attempted to convince him to change but he hadn’t, not yet, not until he was certain that Isla was safe.
“Isla, you are…” Ronan couldn’t continue. His voice was too hoarse. He cleared his throat but couldn’t bring himself to speak words in case he made everything worse.
The beautiful young woman tilted her head at him. Her eyes darted about like they were strangers, learning each other for the first time. Then her hands shook slightly beside her, as the shock was wearing off.
We can’t just sit here in silence forever. Say something, you fool.
She beat him to it.
“I believe you look worse than I do,” Isla tried with a tentative smile that twitched at the edges.
Was she the one trying to make him feel better? Ronan wasn’t doing this right at all. But on the last occasion there was anaccident, he didn’t get there in time. He was so relieved he hardly knew what to do or say.
“Don’t…” He paused, leaning forward to gently brush some hair from her hair. There was a loose curl, damp and free from the bandage bindings, sticking to her cheek. “Don’t ever do that again.”
She swallowed, her neck moving. “Tease you?”
Ronan ducked his head. “You know what I mean, Isla.”
“How odd.” Her voice was raspy and soft, filled with a weariness he had never heard from Isla before. But there was tonic on a tray near the bed. After such an incident, they were surely giving her laudanum. This moment became even more important to him, to treasure a quiet minute between the two of them. “I thought you didn’t care about anyone outside your family.”
His shoulder twitched as her teasing struck him hard. It seared him to the bones, to the heart, to the truth he tried so much to deny.
But why? He had been wrestling with this for days, wondering how everything was so very wrong.
And now there was a pounding in his chest, a beating behind his eyes and a heavy weight on his shoulders. There was a push and pull from every part of his body like the world was trying to wearhim down, trying to impress something inside of him that he had been hiding from for so long.
How could he deny it when he looked at Isla?
“I… was wrong.”
Surprise swept over Isla. She blinked several times, the smile on her face fading away before she started to slide her hand across the blankets to him. The way she licked her lips had him convinced she was going to talk to him more about it.
They should, he knew. There was so much he needed to make right with her. For them. Isla deserved better.
But he feared he didn’t have the words. Not yet, not now. Not while it felt like his heart was trapped in his throat and he was on the cusp of falling apart now that Isla was put together all over again.
So he offered other good news to follow as he slipped her hand into his, hoping to warm her up.
“Oliver, you should know, called you mother.”
An audible gasp escaped Isla. She stared at him in before turning her head. Her hand on his tightened like it hurt, but then there was a tear slipping down her cheeks.
“I…” Isla hiccupped quietly, stopping her speech, as she pressed her lips tightly together.
Her other hand was wiping away the tear before he could do anything about it. The dainty little droplet disappeared. But he still felt it between them.
Surely, they both knew what a big heart Isla had, something he had been taking advantage of. But he knew better. He didn’t call attention to it. Instead, Ronan knew she could use the rest and time to herself. They were both too caught up in what had happened now to speak on anything more.
I will not be the one to prevent her from healing. She will have anything and everything she needs, including proper rest.
