Page 48 of Thorns and Ashes
Sure, you did.
“Your father will be with his lawyer this afternoon. You should call him, or at least pick up the phone if he rings for you.”
I bite my tongue, unwilling to expend the amount of energy it will take to say everything I want to, knowing that my words will only fall on deaf ears, like they have all my life. My mother is brainwashed. Or brainless. Either way, she’s completely reliant on this man who has emotionally and financially abused her for years. She’s so reliant on him that she still spends every waking moment hoping that everything will go back to the way it was because she has no idea how to go on without him. She’s still holed up in her friend’s lake house, and from what I can tell, none of her friends have come to check on her.
A part of me wonders if I should bother, or if I should be the one who helps her realize that there’s a life outside of my father, but she’s not ready. She’s not ready to let go and move on. She’s Mrs. Thorne, the loyal and dutiful trophy wife.
“Tris, are you listening to me?” she goes on. “Don’t be ungrateful for all he’s done for us. He needs our support.”
I trip, almost face planting as I make it to the end of the road, across from the cafe.All that he’s done for us?!The sentiment alone is laughable.
“Mother, he has never done any of this for us. Father’s first love is money. Not you. Not me.” A reality I had to face every birthday growing up. Every special recital, every holiday. He worked because that was what was important to him.
“How can you say such horrible things?” she gasps, surprised, and I can’t take it anymore.
“Are you kidding me? Tell me, Mother, do the pills you take really cloud your judgment, or have they just completely wiped your memory of the reality we have been living all these years?”
“Tris,” she huffs, but I don’t let her stop me this time.
“No, really. Because if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have completely forgotten how he’d make you feel like your only job is to stand there and look pretty because that’s all you’re good for. Growing up, he wasn’t there for us. His wallet was. The only time he spent with us was at one of his business events or when he needed to impress clients with hispicture-perfectfamily. And that’s just it, Mother. I’m done playing the part.”
“Tris,” she sniffles, telling me that my words have hit their mark.
I breathe heavily. It’s not that anything I’ve said is untrue, but it’s not her fault. Still, I’m angry. Angry that she has acted like none of this is true all these years. She’s made herself believe the lie and left me alone with these feelings, in this life, just as much as he has.
“He needs our support. Think about how he must be feeling.”
“Maybe he should have thought about our feelings before he ended up in this situation to begin with, because I’ll tell you what, Mother. He wasn’t thinking about you or me when he did everything he’s being accused of.”
My mother’s sharp intake of breath pierces through the phone as I cross the street. “Your father is innocent.”
I pause, closing my eyes with my key halfway into the cafe’s door. “You keep telling yourself that.”
I hang up the phone and step quietly into the cafe, accepting that this is the reality I live in now, and no one, not even me, can escape it.
“What in all that is holy are you doing, woman?!” I snap, nearly stepping on the dustpan that’s lying in themiddle of the walkway behind the counter as Rory appears to be bouncing around in circles.
“Ugh, sorry. I started organizing the muffins by flavor alphabetically, but then I realized that we’re missing a label. So I went to find one, and on my way, I noticed the mess on the floor. So I started sweeping it up but that made me remember that I meant to put the bags of flour away in the back so I left this broom stick here so I wouldn’t forget to finish cleaning it up once I came back,” she rambles off and it’s as though I can literally see the wheels turning in her head, mapping exactly how her mind took her from point A to F... or G? I don’t know but watching her makes me think we’re going to quickly run out of letters of the alphabet.
“Right... So did you ever get that label?”
“Ah, that’s what I was doing,” she says, eyes wide like she’s already forgotten.
“It’s fine,” I say, rolling my eyes mid-sentence, voice unchanging. “I’ll finish sweeping this up.”
She pokes her head out of a cabinet under the counter and looks up with a lopsided grin. “Oh yeah, thanks.”
“I’m tired just listening to the way your mind works. I can’t imagine what goes on in your head,” I tease, but I’m also very serious.
Rory laughs. “Imagine having a laptop open with forty-two tabs. One is playing a cat video, you have no idea where the theme song fromHappy Daysis coming from, and you’re surrounded by sticky notes reminding you to do basically everything... Speaking of which, I should probably eat something today.”
My chin drops looking at her. “Rory, it’s almost one in the afternoon.”
“Yeah, which is exactly why I need to eat because no one wants to see me hangry.”
I shake my head. She’s unbelievable.
“Honey, you better go eat somethin’. We only have enough liability insurance to cover Tris’s mood swings ‘round here.”
