Page 103 of Thorns and Ashes
“What?” Tris gasps, slamming her coffee mug onto the table beside her.
“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me that you truly believe your father is innocent and had nothing to do with the wildfires and explosions that killed countless others, Tris,” I rage, my grip on remaining calm completely slipping through my fingers.
She glares at me with anger, but I can’t stop.
“You can’t tell me that because you know I’m right. And now you’re going to stand there and cosign his act of innocence? That makes you just as guilty.”
“Go to hell,” Tris snaps, the anger on her face crumbling, replaced by a look of betrayal and hurt.
She wraps the blanket tighter around herself, drawing it up like armor, as if it could protect her from me, from the daggers my words have left buried.
“Great to know that my boyfriend thinks I’m nothing more than a murderer,” she chokes out as she stands and turns her back to me, heading inside. “I’ve been called a lot of really shitty things in my lifetime, but you’ve outdone them all.”
“That’s not fair, Tris,” I argue, slamming my hand on the door, keeping her from shutting it on me. “How am I supposed to feel about all of this?”
She meets my gaze with glassy eyes that slice their way through me despite the anger I’m filled with.
“Maybe you should take a little time and figure that out for yourself.”
Her words settle heavily in my chest, and my hand drops from her door. I’m stepping back before I realize it. She shuts herself inside, leaving me here to question everything. Something tight coils low in my stomach, heat flares behind my ribs, and my throat constricts. Part of me wants to push her away. Another part refuses to move. I stare at her closed door, unsure of what to do now and where we go from here.
She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t see how standing by her father is a slap in the face to me and to everyone affected by this corruption. People’s lives lost, all for the bottom line. Other couples don’t argue like this. They aren’t forced to pick sides in questions of principle and morality. Couples fight, that’s normal, but this wasn’t that. Nothing about this is right.
Ellie brushes her paw against me, pulling me from my spiralling.
“Come on, El. Let’s go visit Tom.”
I start my truck, my mind and heart a tangled mess as I head to Tom’s, hoping he can help me make sense of everything.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Tris
“How long has she been like this?” I overhear Ainsley ask Rory at the door.
I can feel their eyes on me while I make more of ‘Ellie’s Biscuits’.
“I think if she smashes the bananas any harder, we’re either going to need a new table or she’s going to need a new hand,” Rory answers playfully, but there’s an edge to her voice.
“Okay,” Ainsley announces, projecting her voice to draw my attention. “No more of this. You need to take a break.”
“I already had my break today,” I point out, continuing to smash the bananas despite her advice.
I’ve been at this for days. If I’m not working, I’m back here mixing ingredients, trying different recipes. I’ve used every bowl from the shelves here at the cafe and have stayed long after my shift has ended each day. I’m sure I’ve made Ellie enough biscuits to last the rest of the year, but it’s the only thing that’s helping me keep my composure... If I can consider beating up innocent bananas and dough, keeping my composure, that is. Instead of questioning it, I’m grateful for the distraction.
After my argument with Levi, I’ve been doing nothing but working and avoiding him. I’m not ready to talk about it. It’s that simple. He doesn’t understand. I have to go to the stupid soirée regardless of how I feel. My feelings are irrelevant. It’s about how it will look if I don’t go that matters most. At least that’s what will be important in my father’s eyes. What will people say about him and my mother if their own daughter doesn’t show up to a party that’s meant to celebrate his innocence?
I can hear my father’s outrage now, and it causes my skin to prickle. I slam the rolling pin harder over the dough and push it as though I can roll out all the things I don’t want to be feeling. If he’s not convicted and I don’t go, he’ll cut me off and use his money to control me completely. Not that it’s much different from the way things were before, but at least back then I was under the illusion that I was the one in charge of my own life. I didn’t see it then, but now, it’s clear. I may have made my opinion known, but I never did anything about it. Never challenged him, not really.
Hearing Levi tell me that Ican’t goto the party made my mouth go dry and my stomach flip. I will not allow anyone to tell me what I can and can’t do. Everything after that just hurt.
I’m not my father.
I smash the pin harder against the dough, stretching it out.
He’s probably guilty.
I roll the pin again, and Ainsley says my name.
