Page 99 of Thorns and Ashes
“That’s all any of us can aim to do,” I agree, understanding that all we can do is try to be better versions of ourselves every day. “You’re doing alright by my standards, Garrett.”
Hearing me actually use his first name gets his attention, and his features relax, soft with familiarity. He joins the others at the table, grabbing his slice of pizza and taking a seat, but not before something shifts between us. It no longer feels like I’m in a room with simply coworkers. It’s been a long time coming, but it finally hits me that this crew now feels like something more. Something that feels permanent, like this is exactly where I belong.
Iwake up early, and after sitting around the station waiting for something to happen, I let the crew know I’m going on a coffee run. They all know that’s an excuse, but as long as I’m close by, it doesn’t actually matter. I pick up two breakfast sandwiches and coffee and head home to see my girls.
I’m excited to see them, but after knocking a few times, Tris still doesn’t open the door. She’s always up early, but since I’ve been keeping her up even later than she’s used to, I’m not surprised to see she’s sleeping in. I know she said she doesn’t have anything to do until her shift this afternoon, so I pull out my phone and give her a call.
After two rings, it goes straight to voicemail. I try again, and the same thing happens, so I shoot her a text.
Me:Did you seriously send me straight to voicemail?
Thorne in my Side:Do you seriously think I want to speak to anyone this early in the morning?
Me:I’m not just anyone. Now open the door, Rose.
Thorne in my Side:What did I tell you about nicknames?
Me:Just wait until you see what I have you saved under.
I chuckle as I watch the bubbles on my phone screen indicating she’s typing pop up then disappear. The sound of Ellie’s paws trotting across the hardwood floors grows louder as she moves closer to the door.
“You’re lucky I kinda like you,” Tris mutters, opening the front door.
She’s dressed in nothing but my t-shirt, her long legs on full display. Her hair is tousled, and even through the glare she’s giving me, sleep still clouds her eyes.
She looks perfect.
“Oh yeah?” I laugh. “Well, I kinda like you too, but I bought this for the woman I love. Is she here anywhere?”
I hold up the coffees and sandwiches, making a show of looking past her, searching the house.
She fights it but huffs a warm little laugh and steps forward, melting into my arms. She hugs around my waist while my arms are still elevated, holding the bag and coffee. With a satisfied grin, I lower them carefully around her.
“Huh, look at that,” I tease. “There she is.”
She hums and turns her head up for a kiss that I happily give.
“Good morning,” I say softly against her lips.
“Mmm, morning,” she returns with less enthusiasm.
Before I can tease her more about not rising with the sun like she usually does, Ellie jumps up, demanding attention. Tris takes the bag and cup holder with our coffees from my hands, and I kneel to play with Ellie. It’s the kind of moment that hits me hard.
There’s nothing special about it except for the way that it’s everything a man like me could want. This life, this woman, our dog. I smirk as Ellie stretches for me to rub her belly. I can see us building it, shaping it into a life for the two of us for years to come.
That realization should scare me, but instead, all I feel is a sense of peace. The panic that used to wait in the dark places of my mind has vanished. It’s as though I’ve been freed from my demons and given a second chance at a life where being happy isn’t only a far-fetched idea but a reality.
I pat Ellie a couple of times on the belly and stand up while Tris’s brows furrow. Silently, she takes me in, trying to figure out what I’m thinking, but instead of clueing her in, I take this moment for myself and chuckle.
“Come on, let’s have breakfast together before I need to go back to work.” I rest my arm around her shoulders, and we go inside.
“That about wraps it up.”
I finish giving the other crew a pass down so they can take over the next shift, and so that I can get out of here. Yesterday was another busy day, and all I want now is to go home and relax with my girls for the next three days until I have to come back here and do it all over again.
“Captain!” Billy calls my name from across the bay as I’m nearly steps away from freedom.
“No!” I groan, not wanting to turn around despite my steps slowing to a stop. “What is it?”
