Page 88 of Boardroom Sins

… I still get wet.

That’s how I know I’m as depraved as he is.

I stay on the roof until I can’t feel my face anymore. That’s nice, because it means I can’t feel myfeelingsanymore, either. It’s weirdly calming to recede into ice-cold nothingness. Like a guided meditation led by Frosty the Snowman.

But eventually, I have to drag myself back inside.

The stairwell is warm. My skin prickles as feeling returns to my extremities. Luckily for me, some shred of the calm remains.

By the time I reach the fiftieth floor, I’ve almost convinced myself I can get through the rest of the day. Just a few more hours. Then I can go home, crawl into bed, and pretend none of this is happening as I hibernate through the most deserved weekend in the history of weekends.

Back at my desk, I sit down, pull my chair in, and try to focus.

But when I shake the mouse, my computer doesn’t wake up the way it’s supposed to. I tap the keyboard. Nothing. I jiggle the mouse again. Nope.

The screen stays dark for three long seconds. Four. Five.

Then it blinks back to life.

But instead of my desktop, there’s only one thing on the screen. White text on black background.

It’s time to collect on the evening you owe me.

Come downstairs.

The car is waiting.

My heart stops and restarts several times in the span of a minute.

I look around, wondering if I’m being pranked. But the only other person who works on this floor is Lukas, so who would even be pranking me?

The lights are normal. The air conditioning hums. Everything is just as it should be.

… Except for the message on my screen.

What I’d like to do most of all is quietly reach down, unplug the computer, and then launch it off the roof for good measure. That’s the appropriate response to something this depraved. Whatever Lukas Lazarev is collecting me for, it can’t be good.

But he knows he has me.

Because he has Gideon.

That’s what it all comes down to, at the end of the day. Gideon is fifty-three thousand dollars away from finally getting this heroin monkey off his back, and I can’t be the selfish sister who damns him to a lifetime of addiction just because I’m afraid of my boss.

Even if I really did think Lukas was going to do something sick, I’dstillgo through with it—because Gideon deserves that.

And also because a big part of the reason he’s in this mess in the first place is my fault. I still remember that night, my phone buzzing, grunting Tyler, the texts, the calls, so many calls…My fault. It’s all my fault.

I shake my head. Kir can give me all the warnings about Lukas that he has breath for, and it won’t change anything. It’s math, isn’t it? Gideon deserves good things. I deserve bad ones. So if going downstairs to meet Lukas and follow him down the rabbit hole to hell means that both Gideon and I get what we deserve, well, then, two plus two is four, and all is right in the world. All is fair.

It occurs to me, as I ready my belongings, that this is all a very neat and martyr-like explanation for why I’m doing what I’m doing. Aren’t I so brave, charging off into oblivion for my brother’s sake? Aren’t Inoble?

But it’s notjustfor his sake, is it?sneers an all-knowing voice in my head.Even if Gideon were nothing but a dream, you’d go. Youwantto go. Not for your brother—for yourself.

That small, hot, insistent voice keeps crowing in the back of my mind no matter how hard I try to stamp it out. It sounds almost like Lukas whispering to me from inside his office.

Your skin is hot and flushed, Rae. Your pupils are dilated and—oh, is thatexcitementI sense? Adrenaline surging, nipples puckering?

You’re notafraidof the dark, sweetheart.