Page 119 of Temporary Vows

Thank God he seems to be trying. Apart from Skylar, he’s my rock. Jack and I may not always see eye to eye, and I may not always agree with the things he does. But his presence soothes me. Even now.

The only thing that could have made me feel better today is if he’d walked me down the aisle. I’d always imagined him doing so.

He would have done it if I’d asked, but I didn’t want to put him through having to give me away to Dorian. I felt he appreciated that.

Awkwardly, my gaze drifts back to Dorian.

Two more steps, and I’m right before him.

With his eyes locked on mine, he holds his hand out for me to take.

I take it and give my bouquet to Skylar, who shoots me an encouraging look before heading to her seat.

My focus stays with Dorian as he leads me forward.

The priest smiles warmly at the two of us, then begins his speech.

Strangely, I hang on to every word. I was sure the mindlessness that had assailed me all morning would come back, but I’m sharp now. More focused than I’ve been in weeks.

But the clarity ends the moment it’s time to take our vows. I switch to autopilot again, and when I speak, I feel like I’m back in high school rehearsing for some play I don’t want to be part of.

The words come, but I feel nothing.

I feel the same nothingness when we exchange our rings.

I hardly look up when the priest asks if anyone objects to us getting married.

Time lurches forward, and suddenly, he’s declaring us husband and wife. I barely register that Dorian and I just got married. That I’m no longer Elodie Harper.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the priest announces.

I meet Dorian’s stormy-colored eyes with that vacant stare. For a moment, I think I see a spark of something, but it’s gone before I can confirm it was ever there.

He leans in to kiss me, and I hope like hell it’s nothing like his other kisses.

His lips touch mine, and I make myself feel nothing. All I have to do is remember him sayingI will never love you, and it works.

I shut down and realize this is exactly what I have to do.

Cheers erupt through the hall as we pull apart, and I ignore the puzzled look in Dorian’s eyes.

The cheers rise as we take our first steps down the aisle, and I plaster on a dazzling smile, making sure I look every inch the woman I should be for the cameras.

The same fake smile follows me through the day, and I tell myself I can do this.

But my nerves get the better of me, ripping me apart beneath the practiced smile every time some woman I don’t know speaks to myhusband.

Each time I wonder if the woman I’m looking at is Susan or someone else he’s seeing.

What a way to start a marriage.

But this is my choice. No matter how bad it is.

Chapter 27

Dorian

“Your mole is using an external server to keep tabs on you.” Salvatore leans in, a proud smile brightening his face. “Gibbs got an off-the-grid analyst to assess the hacking code you found.”