Page 131 of A Thousand Nights Before Dawn
“I am here for you.” She fought to hold his gaze, but he wouldn’t yield. “Please, speak to me.”
His lip trembled, wet and swollen from crying. He wrung his fingers, pulling on each one as he lost control of his breathing. “I have doomed us all.”
Zahra’s heart ached. “Namir, that isn’t true.”
“It is,” he claimed. “I trapped us in this day. Mymedjayare killed every night defending my life, Ramses has died at least a dozen times, and you are burdened with a curse that will always claim your life. And it is allmy fault.”
“You are taking ownership of so many things that are out of your control.” She rubbed her thumb against his cheek, even as he tried to turn away from her. “Please, Namir. This is not your fault.”
“Re has seen fit to punish me,” he insisted. “I ignored him for too long, and now I have doomed us all.”
Zahra’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Namir sniffled. “My cousin died saving my life, and I blamed Re for it.”
Zahra moved her hand to his shoulder, rubbing it as Namir spoke.
“I was foolish. I had spent years confined in these walls, never certain I would live to manhood. Namir promised to take me to a far-off place once I was thirteen. When the battle at Henen-nesut was announced, I wanted to join him in the fight and prove my worth. He said I wasn’t ready, but I didn’t care. My foolishness cost him his life.”
Namir shook his head. “I blamed Re for years, refusing to listen to Zosar’s sermons or Nubia’s stories of miracles. When I was handed the power of the Thoth, I asked for his aid in choosing a queen, but he saw fit to punish me instead. All of this has happened because I couldn’t take responsibility for my cousin’s death.”
“I don’t think Re is punishing you,” Zahra said, “nor do I think Namir’s death was your fault. You were just a boy.”
“I was the prince of Aur.” He shook his head. “I should have known better. He was my best friend, my brother, and I lost him because of my own foolishness.”
“His death was not your fault,” Zahra repeated.
“I killed him.” Namir’s fingers knotted, and his lip trembled as more tears fell. “It’s an act for which my uncle has never forgiven me, and one my father too easily ignored when he declared I should be king. Nubia was the most logical choice, but he chose me instead.”
“You couldn’t have known what was going to happen.” She wiped at his tears. “You were a child. Don’t blame yourself for a death caused by greedy men.”
“The blade struck him instead of me.” His pain-filled eyes finally met hers. “Even now, I cower behind others. I am too weak to be King, to be Pharaoh.”
Zahra moved her other hand to his other shoulder. “Listen to me.”
Namir shook his head, moving to stand.
Zahra placed her hands on his arm and face. “Listen to me!” She pushed him down into the chair, her amber eyes capturing his. “My mother died protecting me. My village was on fire, and I had run off.” She knelt beside him once more, holding up her necklace. “She died at a Parsan soldier’s blade, one that was meant to hit me. She handed this to me, telling me to keep it with me always. Even though my father blamed me for her death, I remembered her words, and eventually, he found forgiveness in his heart.” She smiled sadly, letting her necklace fall and holding his face once more. “My mother did not blame me for her death, nor would Namir have blamed you. He saved you because he saw your potential as a man and as a King. He saved you because he loved you. Do you think he would want you to blame yourself for his choice?”
His black eyes relented. “No.”
“A cruel man would not honor the name of another by giving up his own, and a bad King would not acknowledge his mistakes, especially in the face of adversity.”
Namir choked back a cry, closing his eyes and turning his face from her.
“Oméli.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him toward her. He clung to her, burying his face in her curls as soft sobs escaped his throat.
She dug her fingers into his hair, kissing his head. “My sweet, sweet King.” She hugged him tight, speaking softly into his ear. “You are the bravest man I know. Bravery does not exist without fear, and you have stood fast in the face of fear since your youth. Life has been so cruel to you, much too cruel, but you have grown so much despite it.” She rubbed his back. “It will be okay, Namir. You are a good man, a great King, and you are not alone in this.”
Namir’s sobs moved her heart, and she held him tighter, letting her hair soak up his tears. It was several minutes before he allowed her to guide him to the bed, where he rested his head on her lap. “Don’t leave.”
Zahra pushed his curls from his closed eyes. “I won’t.” Within minutes, he was asleep.
Zahra looked out the window. It was late. The moon was red, and the obelisk would soon chime six times. She had not died yet, but only because they were sitting in the dim moonlight. Thekerescould still reach her if another yielded to anger.
Movement from the doorway caught her eye. Waaiz was standing there. His eyes narrowed, a glint of red in them. He lifted his sword, beckoning her out with his hand.
Zahra swallowed. What would he do to Namir if she did not obey?
