Page 111 of Hurt Me Not
Jax stayed for a while, talking about everything that had gone down, conveniently leaving out that I’d been the one who killed Emerson's father. She was letting me tell that tale, and I was grateful.
With all the comings and goings, I didn’t have the chance to be alone with her for a while. I didn’t want to push her, especially after the doctor had been very clear that she needed to rest. She would need more sleep to recover.
I stayed beside her as she tried to eat. Jax pretended to be hurt that we weren’t going to eat “her girl’s” food, but my stomach was in knots and Emerson couldn't eat much either. Mainly bits of broth and water, of course, which she kept down.
Once everyone was gone, we stayed in silence for a while until I finally got the courage to speak up.
All I wanted was to tell her how much I loved her. Pick up where we’d left off before she lost consciousness. Hear her say she loved me back. But telling her the news about her father was more important than my selfish desires.
“I don't know if this is the right time to say this, but your father…”
“He’s dead.” Her voice was hoarse.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“He is,” I said. “Jax wanted me to be the one to break the news.”
“His body?”
Her line of questioning shocked me. If it were me, I would've asked what happened first and gone from there.
“Will never be found,” I reassured her as I moved my hand to take hers, but she leaned away. “Listen, Emerson, I’m?—”
“I told you not to dirty yourself.”
This time, her voice held the slightest twinge of anger. She knew. Of course she did. Emerson was too smart to not have put it together.
I wasn’t sorry I did it, but her being mad at me for it made me feel less and less confident about my actions.
“I don't regret doing it. I hope you know that. He deserved it. The only thing I wish was that it had been you pulling the trigger, not me, after everything he did to you.”
Her face twisted.
“Ever since…” I took a deep breath, looking her straight in the eyes. I was taken aback by how tired she looked, even after sleeping for so long. It made me soften my voice a bit. “Ever since I saw him hurt you in that alley, I knew in my heart he was a monster. And if I could do anything to save you from him? I would do it in a heartbeat.”
“Like being a witness?” she asked, an edge to her voice. I stiffened.
“Or pulling the trigger,” I shot back. “Firing bullet after bullet until I knew that piece of shit was dead and would have no other choice but to finally leave you alone.For good.”
“This life isn't for you, Pearl. It was supposed to be me. I was the one supposed to end him. You were supposed to walk away with your hands clean.”
I puffed up.
“You can't decide my life for me, Emerson.”
“That's where you're wrong.” She looked me straight in the eyes as she pushed her food away, then she swallowed before her voice came out clearer. “You're going to leave here. Right now.You're going to go back to your apartment or, better yet, find another one that piece of shit hasn’t touched. One you love. Live the life you should've lived. Go to school. Get a new job if you want. And never talk to me again.”
I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. I had taken a leave from school. They had been more than willing to give me some time off, especially after hearing what had happened.
“What?” I scoffed. “You go from telling me you love me to this? What the hell do you mean withLive the life I should have lived? The life I want to live has you in it.”
Her eyebrows pushed together, and her mouth was set.
“I don't want you here anymore, Pearl. Leave, or I'll call security.”
I gave her a couple of seconds to think about it. To realize what she was doing. But she didn't fold. She just continued to stare at me.
So I slowly got up and started grabbing my stuff. My movements were jerky. Robotic. I couldn't wrap my mind around why she was doing this.
