Page 64 of Hurt Me Not
“Because of the uninvited guest today?” she asked, her eyes still filled with tears. “That wasn’t… him, right? I just… I was so worried that he’d come and hurt you.”
I shook my head. Now the look she’d given me as I left without an explanation made much more sense.
She had been worried about me.Worried that he would kill me.
“It happens sometimes,” I said and forced a smile. “For a few years, my name has been in the papers because of the success of the company. It brings in a lot of weird people.”
The lie tasted bitter on my tongue, and I wondered if I should just let her know about my father. But this wasn't her issue to worry about.She didn't need to deal with my fucked-up baggage on top of everything else.
“Maybe we should just get rid of the contract.”
Like fuck we will.
“You backing out on me now?” I asked, my voice a little harsher than I meant it. “I thought you were stronger than that, Pearl.”
Her eyes fell to her drink.
“I don't want you to get hurt because of me.”
Shit. Was this how she felt when she figured out the deaths were all because of how obsessed she was with her?
“You’re… worried about me?” I asked, unable to stop myself. I knew she was, but I needed to hear it.
Our gazes locked again.
“It's weird, right? I know I probably shouldn't care about you the way I do, but… I can't help myself. It's been like this sincehigh school. I should've hated you back then, but I've always—” She cut herself off by clearing her throat.
Say it. Say the thing I’ve always dreamed of hearing you say but never dared wish out loud because if I yearned too hard, the universe might make her hate me instead.
Maybe that's why I did everything I did. It was easier to show my feelings with sharp, witty insults and bullying. And if that made Pearl say what she was about to…
I must truly be the luckiest person in the world.
My heart was pounding in my chest. Heat spread up my face and neck.
“You’ve always, what? Don't back down now, Pearl.”
Her face reddened. Her eyes cast down and then back up to me. She was still hesitating, but I could see my Pearl in there, gathering her courage.
She had it. I know she did. She just needed to find it, and I was begging her to. Because I had said more than I meant to last night, and I almost regretted it. Especially when she didn’t react to it at all.
“I like you, Emerson,” she whispered. “I always have.”
It was such a simple, innocent confession.
One would think that after everything we had done together, those words would do nothing for me. I had had her in ways I never thought I would. I had degraded her. I had seen her at her most vulnerable. Naked, body and soul.
But this was what made my whole world implode.
It never occurred to me that Pearl—or anyone else—might actually like me. No matter how much I wanted it. I never thought it was in the cards for me or that I deserved any of it.
Girls wanted me all the time. For my looks. My money. For how I could make them feel.
Butlikeme? As a person? Not really.
I had always been in love with Pearl Meadows. It was completely irrational and unorthodox. She and I were not supposed to be together. All we shared was a high school hallway.
But that never stopped me. I hated it. Hated how she controlled my life.
