Page 113 of Hurt Me Not
I winced. Just the thought of that…
I used to think that I could handle any consequences as long as I had her. She was the most important thing in the world to me. Even thinking about losing her…
“Jax, I get what you’re saying, but you know what my life is like. Every time I buy a new company, more people hate me for it. There’s a chance this will happen again, and if Pearl is with me, she may have to deal with this all the time. And that’s not fair to her.
This time, she thought my words through.
“That’s why you have people like me. That’s literally my line of work.”
“Jax—”
“And don’t you think she should be the one to decide what she wants to deal with or not?”
Letmedetermine what I deserve. Let me choose whose love I’m worthy of, okay?
Remembering Pearl saying those words to me shut me up. I didn’t know how to answer Jax.
“I really like Pearl. And I really like you with her, so I have one more thing to say, and then I’ll leave,” she said and got up, running her hand through her short hair. I had never seen her even remotely angry. She always schooled her expressions, but now it was starting to show. “She stayed by your side the entire time and took care of you. She made sure they didn't cut your fucking throat open and put a tube down it because she knew you would wake up when no one else believed it anymore. She was here for you every step?—”
“Fucking stop it, Jax,” I hissed. “You think I don't want her? You think I don't miss her? All I have ever wanted was Pearl. But at least I can admit that her being with me is the wrong choice for her.”
She stood back, shocked. A heavy silence fell over us as she merely shook her head.
“You're making a mistake,” she muttered under her breath before she walked out.
When the door finally shut and I knew I was alone, I buried my head in my hands. My eyes pricked with tears.
“I know,” I whispered. “I know.”
I let myself stay there for a few moments, giving in to the wave of grief that overtook me.
Damn it all.
“I told youI don’t want another assistant.”
Cristian gave me a look that told me he was tired of my shit, which was strange because he never openly acted annoyed with me. No matter how difficult I was.
It had been a few weeks since I forced Pearl out of my life, and I was regretting every moment of it. I know it would be hard, but I thought I could handle it.
Newsflash, I can’t.
Coming back to the office had been my backup plan. Just burying myself in work and forgetting everything else. I might have to sell my apartment because she was everywhere I looked. The problem was that I couldn’t escape her at the office either.
It was ten in the morning, I had back-to-back meetings and a dinner with one of the board members tonight, and Cristian had marched right into my office, shut the door behind him, and decided to let out all his frustration on me.
And that annoyed the shit out of me.
“I’m not talking about another assistant. I'm saying bring Pearl back.”
It was my turn to give him a look.
“Is there a reason ithasto be Pearl? What, are you two best friends or something now?” I couldn't keep the venom from my voice, and even though jealousy made no sense, I was still feeling it.
“You need to hire Pearl back for your sake, not mine. You think we haven't seen just how moody you've been lately?”
“Moody?” I repeated with a hiss.
“Maybethrowing a temper tantrumis actually a better way to describe it.”
