Page 41 of Playing with Trouble

And she was perfect for me in ways that scared the shit out of me.

Her independence, that wild refusal to bend, kept me on my toes.She didn’t want a protector, but god help me, she brought out every protective instinct I had.Her sass made me want to dominate her, shut her up with my mouth—or my cock—but at the same time I admired the hell out of her fight.She wasn’t afraid to push back.And that made the surrender, those rare moments when she actually gave me her trust, sweeter than anything I’d ever known.

Most women I’d been with wanted something from me.Safety, attention, maybe the thrill of danger without the commitment.Violet didn’t want any of that.She didn’t really need me.Convincing her of my intentions—real, steady, permanent—wasn’t going to be easy with a woman who had built her life on never depending on anyone but herself.

I sighed heavily, and she shifted beside me, subtly trying to move away.I loosened my hold and let her go, not wanting her to feel smothered, but once she had her own pillow, we both turned on our sides so that we were facing one another.

Her eyes were such a pretty shade of green, soft and vulnerable in a way I knew she’d hate me for noticing.They gave away more than she realized.Every flicker of doubt, every second she let herself want me before shoving it down.She’d glare and roll those eyes a hundred times a day at me, but lying here, stripped bare and trying so damn hard not to show it, they betrayed her, and I glimpsed the woman she didn’t want anyone else to see.

“Are you staying in here?”she asked quietly.

I took her question as a good sign, that maybe a part of her actually wanted me close, even if she’d never admit it.“Would you mind if I did stay?”I asked, keeping my voice steady, even while I left the choice in her hands.Then I added a little push, because I couldn’t help myself.“I mean, we did have someone possibly following you today.Maybe I should sleep in your bed with you.Keep you extra safe.”

Violet grinned.“That’s one of the flimsiest excuses I’ve ever heard.”

“And yet,” I shot back playfully, “I don’t hear you telling me no.”

Her teeth grazed her bottom lip as she considered me being there for the night.“All right,” she said after a few moments, shocking me with her answer.“You can stay.”

Something twisted in my chest at that small victory, but another thought pressed harder.One I needed to clear with her.I shifted, bracing on an elbow so I could see her better.“I owe you an apology.”

Surprise flickered in her eyes.“What for?”

“I should have asked before fucking you without a condom.”The words were blunt, but I needed her to hear them.

Her brow arched.“I assume you’re clean, since everyone has to submit regular tests at the club?”

“I am,” I said without hesitation.“And yes, I get tested regularly.”What I didn’t tell her was that I hadn’t gone without a condom in years, that being inside her bare had been a compulsion I hadn’t been able to resist.She did things to me I hadn’t let anyone else close enough to do.

She nodded once.“Same.It’s…been a while since I’ve been with anyone.And I’m on the pill, so it’s all good.”

“Surprised you said it’s been a while,” I said, trying to keep my tone casual despite my curiosity.“You seem like the kind of woman who knows what she wants, and how to get it.”

Her gaze flicked away, then back, her teeth dragging at her lip again.“It’s not a lack of interest,” she said carefully.A beat passed before she added in a softer tone, “Part of me, well…so few men actually know how to handle someone like me.”

“A brat?”I asked, more gently than teasing.

She gave a small nod, the corner of her mouth quirking.“Yeah.That.”

I stayed silent, while something in her posture shifted.I watched her relax a fraction, her expression thoughtful, as if she was deciding if she could trust me with more.When she spoke again, her voice was quieter, almost confessional.

“The men I’ve been with…” she began, fingers picking at the blanket covering her breasts.“Most of them thought they wanted someone like me.They liked theideaof me.But when it came down to actually handling me they didn’t want a strong, independent, rebellious woman.Not really.”

I propped my head on my hand, grateful for this glimpse into some of the things that had contributed to Violet’s mistrust of men.“They clearly didn’t know what they had.”

“No, they didn’t know what to do with it,” she corrected, her tone harsh.“Withme.With the wall I’ve got up.With the fact that I won’t bend to their whims just because that’s what they expect, and for some men, it was about their ego.”

I let her talk, figuring the best thing I could do for her right now was not fill the air with platitudes or reassurances.She wasn’t looking to be placated or humored, and I didn’t want to trivialize her experience.

She rolled onto her back and sighed, staring up at the ceiling.“My mother…”

She hesitated, and again I remained silent and just let her decide what she wanted to share with me, on her own terms.

“She died in a car crash,” she finally went on.“That’s why Christopher freaked out about mine.She was driving erratically, according to witnesses.She ran a red light and the vehicle that had the right of way slammed into the driver’s side of my mother’s car, killing her instantly.”

She swallowed hard and turned her head to look at me.“I know that shit happens, but I also know what occurred right before she got behind the wheel.Her latest boyfriend had broken her heart, and when she left the house she was on the phone with him, begging him to take her back.I’m sure she was crying and sobbing and yelling into the phone while driving, and not paying any attention to the road.”Her tone was bitter, but there was a rawness to it, too.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said softly.