Page 14 of Finding Shelter
Ledger glanced up from cooking with raised eyebrows.
Kash winked.
Another loud sigh brushed his ear. “Yeah. I think I like you better on the opposite coast. I don’t put it past you to keep trying your luck until I’m forcedto kill you.”
A smile exploded across Kash’s face. He might not have much going for him, but Kash knew how to drive people in the direction they needed to go.
“I’ll inform Noir this move is a permanent one. Do not lose touch with me again. Same rules apply. Do your job. We’ll keep you safe. Everyone makes money. Don’t make a liar out of me, Kash. This move is permanent, even if I have to come there to kill you. Understood?”
“I’m not worried. You know I’m a good boy.”
Ledger smiled and shook his head.
Ajax snorted and disconnected the call. With a chuckle, Kash tossed the phone aside. There. Ledger protected. He still had a source of money and the prince’s protection. More than anything, he hadLedger all alone. To himself. Bonus points, Ledger wanted him too. Kash didn’t know how much patience he had in him tonight. They had moved Kash’s things in, along with his car. Kash had canceled his storage unit. It had been a full day. Now they were home. Truthfully, it still didn’t feel like home. He was still braced for this to fall apart before things even got started. After all, Valon always won. The moment he caught wind of this, Ledger would be done.
Right now, though, Kash could do this. He moved to stand behind Ledger and molded against his back. He buried his nose against Ledger’s neck. “Mhmm. Something smells good. I’m excited to taste it.”
He felt more than heard Ledger chuckle. “I hope you’re notdisappointed with your decision. With everything going on, I haven’t hit the gym in the last few days. I’m already turning into flab.”
Kash gave Ledger his space. “I’m not worried. You make me way too hot. But you should let me know your usual gym schedule. I’ve been lax too. While you’re at it, I need your typical schedule for every day of the week, so I can set up a solid security plan. We’ve been winging it, and that’s not smart. If someone’s determined to get to you, they’ll follow your normal path. Everyone has a daily pattern, whether they mean to or not. It’s all well and good to say mix it up and keep them guessing. But that’s not realistic if you want a settled life, and I want a settled life.”
The sweet smile that touched Ledger’s lips made Kash’s heart beat a little faster. “Do you practice these lines in the mirror?”
That one confused Kash. “What do you mean?”
For a moment, Ledger just stared at him. Then he shook his head. “Wow. You really mean it. You’re ready to jump into life with me with both feet. No overthinking or regrets.”
It seemed Ledger still didn’t fully understand how serious Kash was. Kash knew himself. Not only did he want to dive right in, Kash might do anything if anyone thwarted his plans. He had waited a long time to have Ledger without all the guilt and ugly bits. He didn’t know how long they had before they had to face the firing squad namedValon, but he needed to savor every second. Cooking was taking too long.
“No overthinking. No regrets. Just us.”
A slight blush touched Ledger’s cheeks, fascinating Kash. “What’s this about? Why are you blushing?”
Ledger looked away and focused on stirring pots. After a moment, he cleared his throat and met Kash’s stare. “I haven’t been with anyone since Ry left.”
Kash didn’t react. He wasn’t the least bit surprised. Ledger was loyal and believed in love. He wouldn’t jump from bed to bed. Ledger needed something real. He had found it. “I can go slow.” In fact, he looked forward to savoring every second of a body he never thought he would have. The heart attached was the sexiest part, but Kash would be lying if he saidit wasn’t also about sex. He very much wanted Ledger every way he could have him.
“That was a lot of flirting on the phone. What did you learn?”
“Ah. The deflection.” He would let it stand. Kash understood Ry’s betrayal would linger with them for a while until Kash proved he would never do the same. “There’re only two things Ajax loves: his prince and his man, Lucas, and Ajax is a jealous bastard. The best way to stay on this coast is for Ajax to want me as far away from Lucas as possible.” Kash spread his arms wide. “Here I am, ordered to stay right where I am for good.”
Ledger looked skeptical. “And they wantnothing in return?”
Kash needed Ledger to know he would always be honest. “I definitely didn’t say that. People don’t walk away from crime lords and live to talk. Not to mention, there isn’t a single law or government agency that isn’t bought and paid for. I’m sorry I brought this to your door. When I got here, I expected you to take one look at me and tell me to leave. If I had thought there was a single hope you might love me someday, I would’ve covered my every step. You know I can vanish when I want to. I never thought someone like you would ever touch someone like me.”
“Don’t say shit like that.” Ledger looked fierce. “Stop acting like I’m some prize who isn’t more than twenty years older than you. I’m not Ajax. You don’t have to corner me with compliments or apologizefor a bad decision when you never thought you’d be here again. Granted, being tied to a crime lord is pretty fucking massive.” Ledger made a gesture like wiping away his words. “That’s not the point right now.” He took a deep breath, as if calming himself. Ledger held his stare. “I know I’m a lot older than you. Maybe I look good right now, but I won’t forever, so I fully understand you’ll eventually want someone else. But I absolutely want as much of you as I can get until you move on.”
Kash let Ledger unload that bullshit, so he didn’t have to carry it, but goddamn. For a moment, he simply blinked while trying to decide how he felt. “Well, that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Kash couldn’t deny the anger growing inside him. “No. I’m actuallyfurious. I’ve spent years incapable of anything serious with anyone else because you’ve been lodged in my head.” Kash pushed all the buttons to turn off the cooktop built into the island. “It pisses me the fuck off that you could think I’m anything like Ry, but I get it. He was a terrible person impersonating a good husband.” Kash met and held Ledger’s gaze. “I’m someone who has been sickeningly in love with you for years, while disguised as a bad guy. If you want to eat any of this tonight, then stop toying with me. I’ll absolutely spank you until you learn your lesson.”
Ledger visibly fought not to smile. “What lesson is that?”
Kash snagged Ledger’s hips and towed Ledger against him. He wanted Ledger to feel how hard he was for him. “That you’re mine and I’m no fucking cheat.You’re sexy as fuck, always have been, but this isn’t about looks. It’s you. Everything about you makes me hot as hell, especially your sexy heart.” Kash followed the waistband of Ledger’s jeans to the front and then popped the button. His gaze never wavered from Ledger’s eyes. “I already know I’ll never get sick of touching you.” He slowly slid Ledger’s zipper down as he watched a flush grow across Ledger’s cheeks. Yeah, he wanted this too. “That’s what it’s like being an addict. Even if you find a way to get sober, for the rest of your life, that craving stays in the back of your mind, lurking. You’re the only addiction I have, and I don’t want to get clean.” He shoved his hand inside Ledger’s underwear. Pre-cum smeared his skin as he slid his hand down thelength of Ledger’s erection, torturing them both. “I want to get very, very dirty.”
Ledger licked his lips, looking slightly nervous but incredibly aroused. “Okay.”
Damn. Kash really was addicted. He never wanted to stop.
Holy shit. That really was all Ledger could think. Twenty years of being married to someone who lied,kept secrets, and never wanted to talk things through made Kash seem too good to be true. He communicated. Kash didn’t let things fester. Whatever he felt, he said it. If Ledger felt insecure or worried in any way, Kash wiped the negativity away. Maybe one day he would find out the hard way none of this was real. Until then, Ledger craved everything Kash’s eyes promised.
