Page 61 of The Blood Witch
My hand falls from his cheek, and when I try to lift it again, I can only manage to raise it a couple of inches before it flops back down to my blood-soaked abdomen.
“I’ve got you, Lennox,” Rogan reassures me, holding me tighter to him as his tears spill down and warm my chilled skin. “I’m so sorry,” he tells me on a shuddering sob as he pushes hair away from my face. “Please stay,” he begs, and I feel my own tears slip from my eyes at the request.
“Elon, wake up and help me,” Rogan growls brokenly, and I wish with everything inside of me it will happen.
Another presence appears at my side, but I can’t make my head cooperate so I can look to see who. Short red hair dips into my line of sight, and I’m pretty sure whoever he is just put his hands on me, but alarmingly, I can’t feel them. A second of silence passes, then another, and another. The witch looks up and shouts that he needs assistance. I focus on Rogan, on the tears and his beautiful face, on the hope and desperation I see in his eyes.
I lied to Elon. I didn’t realize it until now, but I think the lie still counts. There’s nocouldormaybewhen it comes to loving Rogan, it’s already a done deal.
“Please help her,” he orders as more witches surround me, and Rogan’s warm eyes once again settle on mine.
“Fight, Leni,” he tells me, and then once again, it’s quiet as it seems everyone around me holds their breath.
Rogan’s eyes bounce back and forth between mine, and I try to tell him with just a look how much I care about him and how much I want to stay here in his arms.
“Shhhhh,” he coos at me, stroking my hair and bringing his lips softly to mine. “I know,” he whispers against my lips, but when he pulls back, my blood has stamped his mouth, and fear starts to sink into the limbs that I can’t feel anymore.
“There’s too much damage. By the time we unweave the shield put on her, it’ll be too late,” a woman’s solemn voice declares, and Rogan pulls me closer, his softnosfilling my ears as he fights the truth.
“I have a heartbeat,” someone shouts in surprise, and the crowd gathered around me moves away to help whoever is still fighting for their life.
Rogan just stays and holds me as each breath gets harder and harder to take and the world around me starts to close in.
A small whimper escapes me, and Rogan kisses me softly again.
I mouthI love youagainst his lips, and when he pulls away, he nods as though he knows I’m trying to say something but he’s not sure what.
“It’s okay,” he assures me, his tone gentle and kind as tears stream unchecked down his face. “I’ll take care of Tad and Hillen. Hoot will stay with me, and I’ll make sure everyone you love is okay. I promise, Lennox, I’ll take care of them all. You can go if you need to...but I wish you would stay. I know it’s selfish, but I have so much I need to fix, so much I still need to tell you. How can I let you go?” he asks on a sob, and all I can do is blink my own sorrow from my eyes.
There’s a loud commotion somewhere close by, but I can’t focus on what as someone steps into my line of sight, someone who shouldn’t be here.
Grammy?I ask, mentally shocked to see her. She doesn’t say anything, but she smiles warmly at me as though she can read the question in my mind. She gestures to the side of her, and I look over to see my mom and dad. I stare at them blankly for a moment as my emotions take time to catch up with how stunned I feel. My dad’s warm smile has me crying like a baby. I’ve missed all of them so much, and now they’re here. My mother opens her arms and holds them that way like she’s waiting for me to step into her loving embrace, and as much as I want to go, I also want to stay.
Excitement and happiness explode inside of me, but I’m at war with the heart-wrenching loss I also feel. The possibility of so much more with this man sparks through me as I deteriorate in Rogan’s arms, and I feel as though I’m being torn away from everything I’ve always wanted in life.
My Grammy offers me a knowing look and moves to stand with my parents. She’s just like she was in life, giving me room and space to come to terms with things, never in a hurry to push me or force my hand.
I turn back to Rogan and try to whisper what I need him to hear before I go. I wish I could soothe his grief and chase away the distress he doesn’t deserve. I’d love nothing more than to figure out a way to come back from this, but my body is broken beyond repair, and I can feel myself fading. Rogan leans down and presses his forehead to mine. I try to breathe him in just like I have so many times before, but my lungs no longer work the way they should.
I collect every ounce of strength I have left inside of me, and I whisper to him, “I love you,” as I close my eyes, reveling in his touch and comfort.
“I love you,” he reassures me, his tears sprinkling my face. “I love you so much, Lennox. I’m so sorry for everything,” he laments, and I hear him plead over and over again...
“Come back to me.”
His words sink into my soul, bringing with them weight and warmth. I fight so hard, but try as I might, I can’t make his words anchor me here.
I feel myself slipping.
Just as I try to tell him that I don’t want to go, something severs inside of me. Everything around me disappears, and the last thing I hear is a mournful, “What have I done? Oh god, what have I done?”
Epilogue
I’m cold. Cold and uncomfortable, which is an odd combination to feel in heaven. Or maybe I’m not in heaven. I know I’m not in hell. I was a good person in life, but the fact of the matter is I’m cold and I feel like I’m lying on the world’s most uncomfortable bed.
I try to open my eyes to take in my surroundings, but they don’t feel ready yet. Which is another weird thing to think when you’re supposed to be dead.
“Grammy?” I call out uncertainly.
