Page 54 of The Blood Witch
“Look forward to it, you rabid cunt. At least I won’t be the only one up there covered inmypiss,” I provoke, flipping her a lovely set of twin birds.
Jamie lets loose an annoyed screech and starts rifling through her bag more aggressively.
Nerves flutter through me like frenzied insects, but I breathe through it and pat myself on the back. Definitely redeemed myself from theyour mamacatastrophe.
“What are you doing?” Elon whisper-growls, as though Jamie can’t hear every word he’s saying.
I give him a noncommittal shrug, and his green eyes start to study me, like my plan is suddenly tattooed all over my skin. I don’t say anything else, and he shakes his head at me like some disapproving parent who didn’t see this coming.Thisis why I didn’t fill him in on what I was going to do in the first place. He would have argued with me about how, asthe source, I shouldn’t be handing my power over to Jamie, and technically he’d be right if it weren’t for the wholeimmortalthing. That trumps what I could be handing over to Jamie completely.
Even though it’s possible Elon might not come back this time, I can’t risk what happens if he does. To me, that is a far worse power for Jamie and her demon to get their hands on. I know Rogan is coming. I hope he’ll get here in time to save both of us, but if not, Elon’s secret is far more important to protect than the power running through my veins. I know he wouldn’t agree with me about that, which is why I said nothing. I didn’t want to give him time to figure out a way to try and stop me.
Totally called that right.
I look away from him and, in my head, start saying my goodbyes. I don’t want to wait until it’s too late, and I might be in too much pain to do it right. I may not be able to look the people I love in the eye before I go, to tell them face-to-face what they mean to me. But I can put it out there into the universe, hoping my love, my gratitude, my words, find their way to the hearts of those they’re meant for.
I picture Tad and Hillen, all the laughter and tears, hugs and special moments we’ve shared throughout my lifetime. I don’t know where I’d be without them, and I know this will be the hardest for them to come to terms with. I hate thinking about what life will look like for them when I’m gone, but I know they’ll have each other and the rest of the family and that they’ll all help one another when things feel like they’re too much. I think of Rogan and hope that I play this right so that when he finally comes, Elon is still here, and everything he went through to find him isn’t for nothing.
I give myself a moment to lament what I’m losing, not just the time with the people I love, butmyfuture. A future I hoped would someday be filled with love and babies, laughter and adventure. A future, it seems, that was never meant to be. Sorrow sticks in my throat as I look up and watch Jamie set up. She reaches down and seizes a handful of ash and spreads it around the base of the altar as she murmurs something.
Please don’t let all their loss be for nothing,I plead with the universe.
Jamie works, focused on the task at hand, and I try to banish the fear settling in me like drying cement. I know it’s going to hurt, that I’m going to wish I was dead long before I actually am. I’m trying to be ready for it, but I don’t know if anyone can really be ready for something like this. Slow, measured, slightly shaky breaths move in and out of my lungs. I work to make them even, to come to terms with my life and the impending loss of it.
With a dirty-looking rag, Jamie wipes something on the altar, and I try to recall how long it took her to summon her demon the last time she did it. I do my best to guess how long she was gone before she walked back into the church ready to kill Brianne. I work out the time table, as though knowing I have exactly forty-three minutes will make all of this more bearable.
I look over at Elon, and his eyes are filled with fire and determination. The dude is definitely pissed.
“Are you giving up?” he accuses, a taunting sneer on his face and frustration filling his gaze. “What happened to your fight, Osteomancer? Where’s that unwavering determination that’s grated on my every nerve since you showed up inside those demon marks?” he demands, but I know what he’s doing. It’s written in the tears I see start to well in his eyes, in the anguish etched into his weary face. He knows what’s coming as much as I do, and we’re both fighting to keep the other alive.
“You’re a good witch, Elon,” I tell him, a hitch in my throat that I quickly clear.
“Stop it,” he snarls, panic painting his words as he starts to pace restlessly at the inner edge of the demon symbols boxing him in. “You have to fight, Lennox. Rogan’s going to need you,” he pleads with me, but I shake my head and swallow past the tightness in my throat.
“Not me, you,” I counter, shaking my head as he opens his mouth to argue. “He’ll need you,” I mouth to him, not trusting my voice to stay as strong as I need it to.
A bang pulls both of our attention back to the front of the church, and we see that the candles are already lit. My heart picks up, I’m not ready to see her rip apart another innocent animal. The first time was scarring enough.
I look back at Elon, his eyes jumping around the church like he’s looking for help.
“Don’t, Elon,” I warn as I see him calculating what to do, what to say to tip the scales toward him. “I know you think you might have a get-out-of-jail-free card, but what if that only works once?” I tell him cryptically, and I can see how much he hates the truth of my words in his sorrow-filled eyes. “You can’t take the risk. He needsyou,” I plead, my eyes begging him to think about Rogan, about what his loss would do to him.
The first time Rogan told me that I wasn’t even a factor when it came to choosing Elon versus choosing anything else, it stung a little. I mean, I got it. It’s his brother, and they’d been through more than I could really fathom at the time, but it didn’t feel nice to hear nonetheless. But now, as I stare Elon in the eyes, plead with him to hold out for Rogan, to fight until he can get here to help him, it doesn’t hurt like I thought it would. I don’t feel second best or less than. There’s no resentment or hard feelings. It feels right. I get it now. Elon was always someone worth fighting for, and I hope I honor him and Rogan by fighting for as long as I can against what Jamie is about to do to me.
Elon closes his eyes, as though it will block out the truth of what I’m saying, but we both know it won’t.
“It’s okay,” I reassure him as a tear slips down his cheek. “I’m ready, and Rogan is right, you’re worth it,” I tell him as I look up and see Jamie tucking something in the back of her pants. She reaches back into the bag, and I know what’s coming next, the bunny, the blood, the chanting...the wrongness of it all.
My hands start to shake as the specks of time that I still have left fall away one by one. I touch the tether with my magic, sending Rogan one last message. I beg the fates that he won’t feel what I’m about to go through and that this tenuous little connection turns out to be the loophole that I hope it is. That all my magic and ability will transfer to him and not Jamie after I die.
I’ve given it so much thought since I realized that I was the source. I’ve gone over it and over it in my mind, working through every possible scenario I could think of for how to keep this magic away from such a heinous being. I can only hope that this connection between us really did happen for a reason, like Rogan’s aunt said, and that somehow, even if Rogan can’t save me, he can save the magic.
I let out a deep resigned sigh, ready as I’ll ever be for when Jamie comes back and the second ritual begins. My gaze finds her still standing at the altar, but I don’t see what I’m expecting to find there. There’s no innocent animal clutched in Jamie’s hands ready to be slaughtered and used to summon a demon. No, instead she’s holding a savage looking silver dagger. My heart sinks and then starts to sprint when I spot the gold bowl on the altar. I look down to find a now empty bag on the floor that has the remnants of some poor Soul Witch’s bloody heart.
My eyes snap up to Jamie’s triumphant cruel glare.
Shit.
I thought she’d have to power up before we got to this part, but I was wrong. She’s not setting up the ritual to call her demon, she just set up the one that kills me.
