Page 15 of The Avowed
“Well, that’s never going to fucking happen, because even if you can get me out of this place, Zeph will kill me if you take me back.” I mentally facepalm as that last little detail slips out of my mouth. There’s no way I can tell Ryn everything that happened. If he knows what I am or what I’m apparently capable of, he might not help me anymore, or worse, he might just throw me to the wolves like Zeph did. Zeph said I’d be hunted and used, and that’s the last fucking thing I need to go down while I’m stuck here.
“What the rut happened between you and Zeph after I left?” Ryn demands.
I glare at him. “It’s complicated and between me and Zeph,” I mock, parroting the lame excuse he just gave me.
Ryn growls and throws his hands up in exasperation. “You’re impossible! Why can’t you just trust us and listen to what we tell you to do?”
“WhyshouldI trust you?” I volley.
“Because you’re…” Ryn cuts himself off, annoyance etched into every one of his features.
“I’m what?” I challenge, shoving at him, fed up with all the censorship and omissions.
“Because you’re a gryphon,” he finishes, but I can feel the lie in it, feel the wrongness in what’s not being said. Fire burns inside of me, and in a blink, my vision changes, my size grows, and the irritated growl in my chest reverberates around the room like the snarl of a predator that’s going in for the kill.
“Pigeon!”I cheer, relief and excitement crashing through me.
She towers over Ryn, pissed, and in the driver’s seat of our gryphon body. I’m so fucking happy to see her, and I can’t believe that my argument with Ryn shoved aside the fact that I was waking up from supposedly being healed.
“Fuck, Pigeon, I missed you so much, are you okay?”I ask, scanning our massive gryphon form for any signs of injury.
Pigeon sends me a wave of warmth and then an image of a lion dropping a heavy paw on its cub.
“Didyou just gryphon speak that you want me to shut up?”I ask incredulously.“And if anyone in this scenario is a baby, that’d be you, Pidge,”I argue.
She sends me another image of a paw batting a cub away. The cub goes flying, and a pure wave of Pigeon’s satisfaction rolls through me. I gape at the mental gryphon bitch-slap that just happened, but the snarl still rumbling out of our chest drowns out my outrage. Pigeon takes a menacing step, towering over Ryn, and I wait, fully expecting his gryphon to show up and try to put us in our place. Pigeon is fucking pissed, and I give her a mental wing five, glad to see that she’s just as over this bullshit as I am.
Curiosity smashes through my gray matter when Ryn’s gryphon doesn’t go all caveman and rip out of his body, ready for a fight. Instead, sorrow streaks through Ryn’s gray gaze before he drops it to the floor. Ryn tilts his head to the left, exposing his neck. I watch, not sure what to make of any of this. There’s a hum ofthat’s what I thoughtrippling through Pigeon, and she drops the curve of her razor sharp beak right where Ryn’s neck meets his stone chiseled shoulder.
Ryn stiffens, and Pigeon releases a warning growl. I can’t tell what she’s doing, but it feels like Ryn is walking a fine line right now. One wrong move, and I can tell that Pigeon will rip him apart. Alarm blares through me, and I don’t know what to do. Yeah, I’m pissed at Ryn, and in my mind, I’d happily rip him apart, but I don’t actually want him to die. I make that clear to Pigeon, bombarding her with plenty ofactivate your chillandwhat the fuck are you doing, but she ignores me.
“I’m sorry, I don’t willingly dishonor you, but there’s so much more going on than you understand,” Ryn whispers softly, his breath tickling the feathers of our chest.
Pigeonreallydoesn’t like that answer. Fury punches me in the face, and I see stars from the mental hit. Pigeon rears us back, and in a split second, I know what she’s going to do. I scream at her to stop. Beg her to understand if she kills him, it could mean our death. She’s been out of it since we got here, she doesn’t know the place that Ryn holds among the Avowed. I shove myself past her, fighting to reclaim every inch of our body. A screech rips out of our beak as we battle for control. Ryn looks confused and takes a few staggering steps back as my form battles between shrinking back into me and staying the rage-filled gryphon that wants to tear Ryn to shreds.
Pigeon and I don’t hold back; it’s all pulling hair and feathers, boob punching, and eye gouges as we both do anything and everything to take control. It’s dirty and it’s brutal, but neither one of us wants to let the other win. I hate that I feel her irrational pain beating in my veins. Whatever Ryn and Zeph have done feels like betrayal in its purest form, and it’s fucking hard to not want to just let Pigeon end Ryn and then hunt Zeph down to do the same.
I have to peel her emotions and perceptions from mine, but it’s like ripping something off that’s superglued to your skin. I have no choice if I want Ryn to survive, but it’s leaving me raw and bloody and hurting.
I release a scream as I shove Pigeon away with everything that I have. I find myself on all fours, every muscle I possess locked tight with the effort it takes to control my form. I look up at Ryn, my eyes shifting from the sharp gaze that Pigeon has to mine with every blink. He steps toward me, his arms outstretched like he wants to scoop me up and help, but I shake my head, a warning screech spilling out of my clenched teeth.
“Leave!” I growl out, my control slipping slightly before I clamp down on it again. Ryn’s worried gaze is torn and unsure, and he doesn’t move. “Leave, Ryn, or she’s going to kill you,” I shout at him, and he jerks like I just ran a sword through his chest. He looks horrified, then stunned. Disbelief filters into his gaze, and his hesitation pisses me off.
“Get out, or I’ll let her,” I bellow and feel my body start to shift as Pigeon rams against my control like a feral animal and it starts to crack.
Resignation bleeds into Ryn’s stunned gray stare, and he starts to back away. Pain rips across his face, but I’m too focused on trying to keep him alive and in one piece to care. I may not want him to die, but that doesn’t mean whatever the fuck is going on is right. I keen and beg Pigeon to stop as Ryn reaches for the door, and she goes at me even harder. My senses and size change, and I know I’m seconds away from losing this battle.
“Go!” I scream, the sound a terror-filled demand.
I swear I see devastation flash through Ryn before he slips out the door. Pigeon wails furiously as he disappears, and I feel like we shatter into a million pieces of rage and hurt and betrayal. I don’t know what to do about any of it. I’m locked in a battle with her, and I don’t know what to do or how to console her. She burns with abandonment and drowns in wrath. Tears stream down my face as we war against each other shifting from gryphon to woman with each breath, emotions hammering away at each other, both of us lost to it all.
I try to explain what’s been going on, to help her understand as flashes of gryphons and knots and fire bombard me. It’s clear that neither of us is understanding the other, and that’s just feeding into even more frustration and fight for control. It hurts so fucking bad, our bones and muscles breaking and reforming over and over again, as we can’t make up our mind who should lead.
A male voice shouts something from the doorway, and I swear to fuck if Ryn comes back in this room, he’ll deserve whatever Pigeon wants to do to him. I scream as my shoulders pop out and the bones in my back start to rip apart. Mismatched eyes appear in front of my face. They’re filled with worry and questions as they take me in. Wonder and surprise fill me, and Pigeon suddenly just stops. I gasp as my body stops shifting and then cry out as my bones snap back into the shape of me.
“What’s happening?” Treno asks, pulling me into his lap, distress twitching through his body.
“Fighting,” I whimper out lamely, panting and shaking from the adrenaline coursing through both Pigeon and me.
