Page 42 of The Hidden
“So you thought you’d make me? Is that it?” Zeph accuses, cutting me off.
“No,” I insist, but Zeph dismisses it with a hate-filled look.
“You forget, little sparrow, that I’m not Avowed. There’s no magic running through my blood that would force me to obey you.”
“I wasn’t trying to force you,” I defend, but the statement tastes bad in my mouth.
Was I?
“It just slipped out,” I offer weakly, not even sure if I believe myself.
“It just slipped out,” Zeph repeats, his hands shaking with the rage that suddenly surges through him.
“They used that word on my mother to keep her from moving while a group of guards forced themselves on her. They used that word on my father and older brother so they would have to stand still and watch. I was too young for the vow and the mark, too young to understand what was going on, but the screaming...” He trails off, his voice dripping with pain and buried emotion. “My mother was screaming, and they wouldn’t let me go to her.”
I’m horrified by what he’s telling me, and I watch as the mountain of a gryphon in front of me melts away and leaves a traumatized little boy in his place. His eyes grow distant, and I fucking hate the memory that must be replaying in his mind right now. I want to rip it out of his mind and then rip the vocal cords from my throat so I can never speak another word that could ever conjure any remnants of what happened to him again.
“I’m sorry,” I lament, and I step into him to try and offer comfort. I want him to feel the apology in every fiber of my body, and I want to rescue him from the brutal shadows that are haunting him right now.
He flinches back from my touch and rounds on me.
“Are you?” he challenges, and the question feels like a slap across my face. “Are you sorry that they cut her throat and then his? All because he spoke out against the vow and the highborn leaders who were abusing it. Are you sorry that my brother’s mind broke, that he never came back from that night? That he wasted away to nothing and then died in my arms? Are you rutting sorry as you spew that word out so casually, as if my pain and my body are yours to command?” I flinch back as Zeph bellows the last sentence into my face, his pain and trauma like a punch through my chest.
“I didn’t know,” I tell him quietly, but it isn’t true. My father warned me about words and their power the first time I used this word and froze the animals I was playing with. He told me about the responsibility that came with such a language, and then he died, and I stopped speaking it, stopped respecting it, and now here I am.
Zeph steps back from me, his chest heaving with the effort to rein in his emotions. “So, Falon Solei Umbra. Gryphon shifter who thought she was a wolf. Innocent female who just happened to be found by the Syta of the Hidden. Why would your father teachyouthese words? The words that someone with Bonding Magic uses to enslave others?”
His question rakes up my back like claws, and I flinch. I immediately think of the conversation I just had with Ami about Bonding Magic and what happens to the people who have it. I open my mouth to sayI don’t know, but Zeph’s honey gaze sears through me, and as dumb as it may be, I don’t want to lie to him, not like I’ve been lied to my whole life.
“Nadi said I was a Bond Breaker,” I admit on a hesitant whisper, and Zeph’s features war between confusion and horror.
“Who the rut is Nadi?”
“She’s the ghost that lives in Vedan. I guess my blood woke her up,” I explain, awkwardly hating that it makes me sound like a fucking loon. Hating the way that Zeph is looking at me like I’m something that needs to be eradicated, like I’m dangerous.
“Woke her up for what purpose?”
I swallow down the warning that zings through me to keep my fucking mouth shut and take a deep breath. “Um, she said something about how I could break the vow once and for all. Hence that whole Bond Breaker shit I just mentioned,” I utter with way too many unnecessary hand gestures.
I suddenly can’t seem to stop fidgeting. Maybe it has something to do with the possibility of the impending death that Zeph is currently breathing down my neck. Or maybe this is the first time I’ve really voiced what I’ve been told, and believe it.
He scoffs, and murder fills his eyes. “Bond Breaker or Bond Maker?” he accuses. “If youcanundo the vow, then why haven’t you?” he challenges with a disbelieving sneer.
“Because I have no fucking clue how to,” I snap at him and then instantly regret it when he slams me up against the wall in response.
I grunt against the force of it and pant through the adrenaline that crashes through me because of his aggression. His hand rests threateningly on my neck, and he runs the tip of his nose up the side of my face. “I should rip you apart right now,” he tells me on a growl, and I glare at him. “Do you know what will happen to you when this world finds out you have Bonding Magic? You’ll be hunted, little sparrow. You’ll be used, and then you’ll be slaughtered when you’ve served your purpose or become too much of a threat. The Ouphe will come for you, the Hidden will come for you, and the Avowed will be right on their heels.”
His breath caresses my face, his scent sinking deeply into my lungs, and I find myself oddly calm in spite of what he’s saying to me. Pigeon makes a weird fucking cooing sound inside of me that has me giving her the side-eye.Fucking weirdo.
“Leave, Falon,” Zeph orders suddenly, and the command pulls me from my focus on the way he feels pressed up against me.
“Leave,” he snarls more forcefully when I don’t budge. “Get home if you can, hide if you can’t, and hope a Cynas gets to you before the Avowed can, or worse, the Ouphe dregs track you down.”
I stare up at him in shock. “You’ll throw me to the wolves, just like that?” I ask, hoping my incredulity masks the hurt in my tone.
“It’s where your kind belongs.” I try to push Zeph way from me, but he doesn’t release his hold on my neck. “Oh and, Falon, if you ever come back here, I’ll kill you myself.”
Zeph squeezes my throat ever so slightly to punctuate his threat, and then with that, he storms out of my room. The door slams shut with a loud boom behind him. And I stare at the dark wood barrier for way too long, not sure what to do. He’s just given me permission to do the very thing I’ve been pushing for since I first woke up in this place. But his exit feels like it’s just taken something vital inside of me with him, and I don’t fucking know what to think about that.
