Page 69 of Searching for Beautiful
I haven’t had any dreams about Jason. Things are still awkward and strained between Dad and me. I don’t know how to cross that bridge, but I think we’re getting better. We made Thanksgiving dinner together, which was a huge step for us. No sauce, but that’s okay. We had a turkey, potatoes, and all the other trimmings, and it almost felt like it used to.
The only thing off is Emery. She hasn’t been at the center as much. I tried to see if she wanted to hang out one time, but she said no. Which I guess shouldn’t mean anything. It’s not like she has to hang out with me; I just hoped she would want to. Hoped I didn’t make her mad when I bugged her about Max, but I must have. It wasn’t my business and I should have known that.
As I park my car at the center today, I’m determined to talk to her. To remind her that I trust her, the way no one trusted me. That I won’t bug her about Max anymore. She said she wouldn’t see him and she won’t.
That is, until halfway between my car and the center, I see his multicolored vehicle off to the side of the lot. My heart begins racing as I keep walking.
She promised.
Not my business.
What if he hurts her?
What if someone had stopped Jason from hurting me?
I can’t see him very well because he’s leaned so low in the seat, his car almost hidden. On reflex, I jog the rest of the way to the center. Emery isn’t in the main room. I keep checking, walking from room to room until I find her in the empty art room. She’s sitting in a chair, her feet up on another one, with her back to the door.
“Emery?” I close the door.
“Hey,” she replies.
“What are you doing?” I walk toward her. When I step up beside her, she looks at me. I gasp at the sight of her purpling eye.
“Oh! It’s nothing. I ran into the corner of an open cabinet in the kitchen. Can you believe that? My foster mom felt so bad for leaving it open while we were cooking. ”
It sounds like the truth. I could see it happening. It did happen to Mom once. I was there. Dad was making sauce and left the cabinet open and she ran into it. He felt so bad and kissed it for her, telling her how sorry he was. How beautiful she was. His beautiful lady.
But there’s a sinking feeling in my gut that doesn’t feel right. It’s off. If there’s one thing Dad taught me, it was to trust my gut.
“You did that with your foster mom. ”
“That’s what I just said, right?” She’s getting irritated and part of me wants to shut up, but I keep thinking about that car in the parking lot.
“You’re not seeing Max though, right? You said you weren’t seeing him. ” There’s accusation in my voice and I know how I’d act if I were her, so I’m not surprised when she rolls her eyes at me.
“Yes, Mother. I’m not seeing him. I’m smart enough to keep away from someone after he hurt me. ”
Though that’s not true, is it? Not that she’s not smart, but she’s seen him since he hurt her before. She saw him at the movies and to tell him the baby was a girl and who knows when else. Unless she means since he hurt her again.
“Don’t act like you’re perfect. Remember, I know you saw Jason, too. ”
“But that wasn’t my choice! I didn’t meet him and I haven’t seen him since then. Max is outside right now. What did he do to you?” I reach for her, worried for her. I can’t take my focus off her black eye. He hit her. He had to have.
Author: Nyrae Dawn
Emery jerks away. “He’s here? You saw him?”
I nod, trying to see if she really knew or not. “Yeah. Just now. ”
“Did he say anything to you?”
I shake my head.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” Emery asks before covering her face with her hands. I don’t think she’s crying. At least she isn’t doing it loudly enough for me to hear, but it doesn’t stop my heart from breaking for her. For hurting and reaching out to her. Our situations may have been different, but I get it.
I kneel down beside her. “Are you okay?”
She pulls her hands away. “I don’t know. I really don’t know anymore. ”
