Page 56 of The Forever Home
Emily glared at her and from behind them, Ben said, ‘I don’t think you’re being fair to your mother, Emily, and I’d sooner you didn’t raise your voice to her like that.’
Turning her glare on him now, Emily said, ‘Why, what will you do, send me to my room for being naughty?’
Never had Emily spoken to Ben like that and Cassie wasn’t going to stand for it. ‘Ems, I can see that you’re tired and upset, and that’s hardly surprising if you’ve been running around looking after Finlay on your own while we were away, but apologise to Ben this instant.’
‘No!And don’t you dare accuse me of being tired and emotional, that’s beyond insulting!’
But then as if to prove Cassie right, her face crumpled, and she burst into tears.
Seeing her daughter so distressed tore at Cassie’s heart and her anger instantly evaporated. She went to her, but when Emily tried to push her away, Cassie held her close, just as she had countless times in the past when her precious baby girl had needed her. Emily was still so young and in so much pain and it appalled Cassie that she hadn’t realised that sooner. ‘It’s okay, Ems,’ she quietly soothed, feeling Emily’s rigidly stiff body gradually relax against hers as she rubbed her back in small circular movements, ‘it’s all right, you let it all out, cry as much as you want.’
‘We should have seen that coming,’ Ben said much later when they were in bed, their bedroom door shut, the lights switched off, and their voices lowered.
‘I feel like such a bad mother the way I went on the attack when she was rude to you,’ said Cassie. ‘How could I have not understood the state she was in with so much to cope with?’
‘No point in beating yourself up over that, the important thing is we’re here for her now.’
Yes, thought Cassie, recalling how Emily had allowed her to put her to bed and sit with her while stroking her hair until she fell asleep. That had always been Cassie’s go-to way to calm Emily when she’d been anxious or overtired and unable to sleep as a little girl.
‘She’s taken on so much with trying to support Rosalyn and look after Finlay,’ said Ben, breaking into Cassie’s thoughts. ‘And on top of that she’s also trying to deal with her own complicated emotions about Drew.’
Cassie sighed. ‘That’s very true. And I didn’t react the right way, did I, when she said Rosalyn was in bed? All I could think of was how pathetic Rosalyn was being and how she was using my daughter as her personal slave, and I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop being angry with Drew for putting Emily through this nightmare.’
‘That’s not surprising,’ said Ben. ‘Like Emily, you need someone to blame for the situation we’re now in. That’s what Emily was doing when she had a go at us, she just needed to release the build-up of emotions she’s carrying around inside her.’
For some minutes they lay on their backs in silence. Was she, Cassie wondered, as heartless as Emily had earlier accused her of being?
Maybe she was, because that would explain why she was so irritated by Rosalyn’s inability to be the mother her little boy needed instead of handing over his care to Emily. Why wasn’t Rosalyn doing something about planning her future and getting Finlay into school somewhere, instead of lolling around in bed and literally pulling up the covers over her head and hoping somebody else would solve all her problems?
I must be heartless, Cassie concluded,to regard Rosalyn so critically. Why couldn’t she be a better person and feel genuine compassion for Rosalyn, especially, and as ironic as it was, since they had something in common – they had both been abandoned by the same man and left to pick up the pieces.
‘Fancy a quickie?’
At the unexpectedness of Ben’s question, Cassie laughed.
‘You know, just to take your mind off things?’ he said.
‘In need of rekindling our Burgh Island exploits?’ she asked, snuggling up to him.
Turning to face her, he placed a hand gently to her cheek. ‘I wasn’t being serious, I just wanted to say something to distract you. I could hear the gears grinding away inside your head.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. It’s completely understandable in the circumstances, but I bet you anything you like, everything will feel better in the morning.’
‘I wouldn’t count on it.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Tonight, when Emily was so upset and I helped put her tobed, that was the closest we’ve been ever since she connected with Drew. I’m worried that it’ll be a one-off moment, and we’ll never really get back to how we were.’
‘How about you stop worrying about something that hasn’t happened, and probably never will happen?’
‘But—’
He hushed her with a kiss.
‘I love you so much, Ben,’ she said, her lips moving against his.
