Page 38 of Porter (Dirty Misfits MC 2)
His back straightened. “I don’t feel I should choose between two people I adore more than life itself.”
“Well, for someone who respects women, you’re sure quick to want to side yourself with someone who just shoved me to the ground.”
“He’s just heated. He’s confused, and he’s going through a lot.”
“And I’m not!?”
He clenched his teeth together. “That’s not what I said.”
I threw my hands out at my sides. “It’s what you implied! Poor wittle Brooks, all lost and confused and brooding. Poor, poor him. Well, what about poor Astrid, huh? What about poor Astrid, the sister he left behind to clean up her mother’s puke? What about poor Astrid, the girl he left behind to fend for herself without so much as a weekly phone call? What about poor Astrid, the one he left behind to suffer and rot while he ran like a bitch the second he could? Huh? What about that?”
His voice rose. “We’ve all been through hell, and Brooks has been through some of the most.”
“Pain is relative, Porter! Pain isn’t a scale, but a feeling interpreted based on one’s life experiences. So, if the worst thing I experienced in my life was my dog dying, then it would be a monumental source of pain until something else worse comes along! Get it? You don’t get to compare my pain to Brooks’ and then average it out and have him come out on top. Emotions don’t work that way. Loss doesn’t work that way. And I’m shocked as fuck that you’d even attempt to use that excuse.”
He snickered. “You should’ve been a lawyer, you know that?”
The last of my fucks fell to the wayside. “I knew you’d choose him. Even after all those wonderful words I’ve wanted to hear from you for years, I knew you’d choose him. That club. Those men. That backstabbing President of yours. You don’t care about me, just like Brooks doesn’t.”
His voice grew hot. “I’ve never cared about someone more in my life than the way I care about you.”
I hissed at him. “Then fucking show it, you dipshit. Because your words don’t mean shit if you walk out that door and choose his side after he shoved me to the fucking ground. Got it? That plain enough for you?”
His face fell blank. “Don’t do this.”
“Do what? Tell you the truth? Call you out on your idiocy? Do what, Porter?”
“Do what you’re about to do next. It’s coming, and you know it.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Oh, you mean end things with you?”
His nostrils flared. “Astrid, try to see the other side.”
My gloves came off. “See the other side? Are you serious? That’s all I’ve been told my entire life, and even you know that. ‘Try to see it from his perspective, Astrid.’ ‘Try to walk in her shoes, Astrid.’ ‘Try to understand where he’s coming from, Astrid.’ So, when the hell is someone gonna look at someone else on my behalf and say, ‘Why don’t you try looking at it from her perspective, Brooks?’”
Porter’s silence sickened me enough to blurt out the words without an ounce of regret. “Get out of my house.”
He shook his head. “You don’t mean that.”
I pointed. “Get out. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
“I’m not leaving this house until you calm down.”
“Then, I’ll leave and call the police. But by the time I come back, if you’re not gone? I’ll be in the company of police officers.”
I grabbed my things and stormed out of the house as my knees wobbled and stumbled me along. I’d never been so angry in all my fucking life. I’d never experienced rage, betrayal, and hurt like this before. I slammed myself into my car and cranked the engine, desperate to peel out of the driveway. The tires skidded along the pavement. I flew toward the stop sign before rolling it, pointing myself toward my favorite coffee shop.
Then, I dug around for my phone and called Josie.
“Hello, hello gorgeous! How goes it?”
I sniffled. “Do you have time for a coffee?”
I heard her shuffling around. “Name a time and place and I’ll be there.”
My voice hiccupped. “Thank you. Thank you for being someone I can finally rely on.”
I rattled off where I was going before we hung up the phone with each other. And as I eased myself into the coffeeshop parking space, Josie was already waiting outside for me. I got out of my car and ran into her arms. She wrapped me up tightly and I sobbed against her shoulder. I felt so ashamed, so broken down, and so alone that I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Thank fuck, I had Josie.
“Shh, shh, shh, shh. Whatever it is, we can find a way through it.”
I hiccupped with sobs. “Brooks. H-H-H-He—he shoved me. We yelled. A-a-a-and… and there was a shoot—shoot-out. And Porter—he’s taking Brooks-Broo-Broo—”
