Page 37 of Porter (Dirty Misfits MC 2)
“I hate him for what he’s done,” I whispered, tossing the empty water bottle into the sink.
Porter snickered. “Nice toss.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”
He walked over to me. “Are you okay, though? Are you bleeding? Do you have any bruising?”
I scoffed. “Is that all anyone cares about around here? Physical wounds?”
Porter stayed silent as my mouth ran off with me again. “Is the only thing around here of importance the physical shit? Sex, bruises, and whether or not someone physically cut someone else open? What about mental health, huh? Or spiritual health? What about my emotional health, Porter? Does any of that matter?”
“Of course, it matters.”
I pointed toward the front door. “Then why the fuck doesn’t it matter to him?”
I wasn’t yelling, but my voice was harsh. The vitriol that spewed from my lips caused Porter to take a step back, and it broke my heart.
“I’m sorry. I just—”
I took a step toward him, but he kept taking steps back.
“Porter, what are you doing?” I asked.
My mind ran away with me as his gaze held mine. Was this it? Was he really about to choose his friendship with my brother over me? After all the unspoken years of lust and love—after watching Brooks shove me to the ground—he was going to take a place at his side over mine?
He isn’t the man I think he is if he makes that decision.
“Just say something, please!” my voice squeaked.
He nodded to the fridge. “Get another bottle of water.”
My head fell back with a groan. “Fuck the water, Porter. I’m not concerned about my voice.”
“I am.”
My head snapped upright. “Well, stop, because that’s not what’s important right now.”
“It is to me. Is what I want not important?”
His words stopped me in my tracks. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel that way.”
But the guard over his face still didn’t come down. “Just get some water and—”
“Will you stop bossing me around? You sound like Brooks.”
“I’m just trying to get you to do what’s best for you.”
I shook my head. “What’s best for me is for someone in my fucking life to listen to me for once.”
“And I am listening. To you blow your damn vocal chords.”
“Why did you follow me home anyway?”
He tilted his head. “Is the reason not obvious after everything that was said back there?”
“Then, why are you acting like this?”
“Like what?”
I scoffed. “Oh, get real, Porter. You came in guarded. You’ve shut me out. You keep backing up whenever I move toward you, so even if I wanted to hug you or seek solace, I can’t currently do that. Don’t be like my brother. Don’t act like you don’t know what’s happening. Is this you trying to distance yourself?”
He furrowed his brow. “You really think a lot, don’t you?”
I lunged toward him. “Yes or no, right now. Is this you pulling away so you choose Brooks over me?”
His darkening eyes pierced right through me. “And why do I have to choose?”
I turned my back to him and went to go retrieve some more water. “I figured this would happen. I figured your words were too good to be true.”
He approached me from behind. “Answer me. Why do I have to choose between you two?”
I turned around with water in my hands. “Because right now, that’s how it is.”
And he blocked me against the fridge. “Because you and brother think it has to be that way. But it doesn’t. I do have a choice. I could choose both of you. Or I could choose neither of you.”
I opened my second bottle of water. “So, which is it? What’s it gonna be, tough guy?”
I knew I wasn’t playing fair. I knew I was putting Porter in an unfair position in the first place. But what the hell was I supposed to do? Any man who could even want to take the side of someone they just saw shove a woman to the ground wasn’t a man at all. He was a coward. And I knew Porter wasn’t that. I knew he was angry. I knew he was trying to impartial. But his over-rationalization wouldn’t make up for my brother’s lack of it.
And damn it, Brooks always got what he wanted. Why couldn’t I get what I wanted just once? I always had to compromise, even from the time we were children. Brooks got to run around like a hellion, and I was spanked every time I slurped my fucking soup!
What century were we in, anyway?
“I should’ve known this would happen,” I murmured.
Porter paused. “What would happen?”
I slipped away from him and chugged more water. “I should’ve known you’d take Brooks’ side in all of this.”
“I’m trying not to take any side, Astrid.”
I whipped around. “And why is that, hmmm? Because you feel you can fix our family? Or because you feel you shouldn’t have to choose because life is all peachy keen and jelly beans?”
