Page 42 of Brooks (Dirty Misfits MC 1)
She blinked. “What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “That day in the shop, he admitted to me that he had feelings for you. Genuine feelings. ‘Not the momma kind, but the love kind’ is what he said.”
She swallowed hard. “He said that to you?”
“He did. And I guess that’s why I stopped entertaining the idea of asking you out myself. I knew how much Gage wanted you. How much he loved you, even from the very beginning. And I wasn’t about to take that chance away from my brother and my best friend. So, I let him have you. I let him take his chance, and I figured if it backfired then—given some time—I might get my chance.”
Her head tilted to the side. “So, you backed down because your best friend supposedly claimed me first.”
I sensed anger behind her words, and I knew that wasn’t good. “I know it’s not the best thing to say, but it’s all the words I’ve got before caffeine.”
She licked her lips. “Right.”
I sighed. “Raven, I never meant to—”
She stood. “So, did no one wonder about what I wanted in all of this?”
I furrowed my brow. “Given the fact that you married Gage, I figured you got what you wanted.”
She scoffed. “You don’t know shit about me then.”
I slowly stood. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret not stepping in. That I don’t regret not telling you how I really felt. But by the sounds of it, it sounds like you didn’t—”
She pointed at me. “Don’t you fucking dare finish that sentence.”
I snapped my lips shut and forced my brain to turn off.
“How dare you even think that,” she hissed.
I shook my head. “Raven, I’m sor—”
She held up her hand until there was total silence. And when she drew in a deep breath, I buckled in for a ride.
I just didn’t understand how insane that ride would be until she spoke again.
Twenty
Raven
I didn't know what to feel. I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked by Brooks’ admission, but angered at the idea of how he interpreted my words. Never once did I catch the idea that this man had feelings for me. Never once did he exude any sort of flirtatious advances, secretive winks, or soft touches I had to smack his hand for. There was simply nothing. That night at the bar, he didn’t flirt. He didn’t engage me. He barely fucking talked, especially with Gage running his mouth the way he always did.
And now, he’s about to accuse me of never loving his best friend?
I drew in a long, deep, sobering breath. “I want to get one thing very clear before I begin.”
Brooks nodded, but he didn’t say anything.
Good boy. “I loved—and will always love—Gage. That man was my world. From the first seat he took in front of me at that bar, he captivated me. His smile. His words. His booming laughter. All of it. I tripped and fell into the orbit that was Gage and I begged him not to set me free.”
And again, Brooks nodded but he didn’t speak. So, I walked around the table and hovered over him.
“When I took those vows that day at the altar with him, I meant every word. Every syllable. I promised to love him during the good times and the bad. I promised to help him, no matter what. I promised to take care of him, no matter what life threw our way. And I promised to do that until death parted us for good.”
I swallowed back tears as I held my head high. “But… you. Brooks, not once did I ever get the inclination that you were interested in me. Not once did you ever do anything to even remotely show me that you were nothing but the playful wingman to your best friend. I know the act. I’ve seen the schtick. And that’s the act you played.”
He sighed. “Raven, I—”
I pressed my finger against his lips. “You talked, and now I talk.”
He nodded and I let my finger slide down his chin before falling off his jawline. “Every time I was around you, you pointed me back to Gage. Even before he asked me out. Even before I came to the mechanic’s shop, you always pointed me back toward your best friend. It was like you couldn’t even see how hard I was trying to get into your orbit. Because while Gage had me trapped in his because of how effervescent and full of life he always was, there was something about you I couldn’t shake.”
I took a step back as Brooks stood to his feet. Still muted, but now cloaking me in his shadow.
“Despite the impression Gage left, it was your face I saw whenever I closed my eyes. Despite Gage’s beautiful words and perfect little gifts, it was you I kept side-eyeing. He trapped me, but you captivated me. But when Gage asked me out, I decided ‘what the hell?’ What harm could it do? I figured I’d go on a few dates with him, it might light a fire under your ass to ask me out, and then I could see how everything shook out.”
