Page 15 of Just for the Cameras
“We house over two thousand animals here, with two hundred and fifty species.”
Shit, that’s a lot of animals. I keep that to myself.
“The San Francisco Zoo is best known for Koko the gorilla. Are you aware of Koko?”
“Does it look like I’d be aware?”
She scoffs. “Right, what was I thinking?” She shifts, her shoulder touching mine. Even with how petite she is, there is absolutely no room to spare between us in this fucking thing, which also means I get a front-row seat to her scent. What the fuck is that? Jesus Christ, it smells so damn good. “Koko was born here and was an avid communicator in American Sign Language. A real treasure on this earth.”
I nod.
“She also loved kittens and adopted and cared for many throughout her life. A very popular, sweet, loving animal.” She glances in my direction with an irritated gaze. “Not that it seems like you’d care, but she passed away in 2018. It was a devastating loss to so many.” She somberly sighs.
Unsure of what to do, I clear my throat. “Sorry for your loss.”
“I can tell you really mean that,” she says with sarcasm as she puts the golf cart into drive again and jolts us forward.
I mean, I sort of did mean it. Probably not as much as someone else would, but you know…a gorilla dying is sad.
“The zoo spans over one hundred acres, making it the biggest zoo in Northern California.”
“One hundred acres? That’s it?” I ask as my fingers dig into the top of the roof, keeping me locked into this miniature golf cart while she jolts around, moving from side to side like a madwoman. Who gave her the keys to this thing?
“That’s a lot of acreage.”
“Yeah, but not for a wild animal. They’re used to all the land they want.”
Her head snaps to look at me with those devastatingly beautiful eyes. Jesus, they’re even more blue when she’s angry. And crazed while driving.
Please look at where you’re going. For the love of God!
“Do not be one of those people.”
“What do you mean?” I nod toward the front of the cart, letting her know that she should be paying attention.
“The kind of person who puts down zoos by claiming the animals could be better off not held in captivity.”
“I mean…can’t they?” Why am I distracting her?
“For your information…Graydon…most of the animals we host here have been rescued from the human species, given a second chance in life to thrive, and provide us with the opportunity as zookeepers to educate others on the importance of conservation.” She brakes harshly at a four-way stop, nearly slamming me into the windshield, and then she pushes forward again, flinging me back in my seat. What kind of horsepower does this thing have? “But then again, maybe your football-addled brain can’t quite comprehend such a thing.”
Hey, that’s fucking rude.
“And I’ll have you know, we’ve spent hundreds of hours studying these animals, creating an environment for them that is natural to what they’re used to.” The cart skitters across the pavement, making my stomach drop as we tilt at another turn, her anger clearly turning her into a crazed Cruella de Vil driver.
“Hey, maybe you should slow—”
“And we’re constantly studying them, coming up with ways to assist in their population growth and making sure they don’t go extinct because of ignorant people like yourself.” She snorts at me and tosses her hand to the side in disgust.
Then, with a whip of her head—I’m sure her version of a mic drop—she sharply maneuvers the cart, making a left-hand turn and jolting me so much to the side that I lose my grip on the roof, my entire upper half whipping out of the cart.
Like one of those wind sock guys at a car dealership, I thrash around,arms flailing, feet pressed into the floorboard while my hands grasp for anything solid, anything to keep me from having to perform a tuck and roll in front of a stroller brigade.
But I come up short.
And just as I’m about to fly out the side, right into a child eating Cheerios from an elephant-shaped container, my hand connects with a rope and I grab hold of it, hanging on to it like a lifesaver.
“Ahhhhh!” Maple cries as I yank myself back up and the cart comes to a halt. We both fly forward against the plexiglass windshield and then bounce back in our seats.
