Page 91 of Just for the Cameras

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Graydon:Fine, I was brooding, but it was because some asshat thought he could steal all of Maple’s attention.

Bennett:Wait, did I miss something? Do you like Maple?

Graydon:No.

OC:Um, I think that’s a lie, but we’ll let you live in denial and embarrass yourself later when you realize you need the Gladdy Daddies’ help because you’re in love with a zookeeper.

Bennett:When did we agree on the Gladdy Daddies?

Graydon:We didn’t. That’s not what we’re called.

OC:So you’re open to talking about what we’re called, then?

Graydon:No. This is not a thing.

Bennett:Kind of seems like a bit of a thing.

Graydon:Bennett, you’re letting him get to you.

Bennett:I’m not, I just…I don’t mind having friends. I might need the Gladdy Daddies at some point.

OC:Now there’s my boy!

Graydon:We are not the Gladdy Daddies!

OC:Are you having girl problems, Beanie Baby?

Bennett:Don’t fucking call me that.

Graydon:See how quickly he can turn on you? Don’t let him control this text chain with his absurdity.

OC:God, everyone is so goddamn sensitive. Just trying tocreate a rapport.

Bennett:Do it by using our regular names.

Graydon:And don’t call us the Gladdy Daddies.

OC:Come up with a new name, and I’ll change the group text name.

Graydon:The Three Fucks. Done.

OC:Although I appreciate your willingness to participate, if we’re going to move forward with a podcast and merch once we become more comfortable with each other, the Three Fucks really doesn’t lend to commercial appeal.

Graydon:Over my dead body will we have a podcast.

Bennett:I think we’re getting away from the topic at hand. Graydon was brooding over Maple. He doesn’t like her but doesn’t want some “asshat” talking to her.

Graydon:It’s not just some asshat talking to her. It’s some guy she knows who loves flamingos and wears stupid little glasses.

OC:What kind of glasses?

Graydon:Why does it matter?

OC:Because if they’re slutty little glasses, then that’s a problem.

Graydon:How on earth is that a problem?

Bennett:Oh, you know, Bower was telling me about slutty little glasses.

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