Page 48 of Just for the Cameras
“You sure? Might be a nice opportunity for you.”
He doesn’t respond to that, instead tugging one of the bands from a hook and handing it to me.
“What’s this for?”
“To stretch,” he says and then effortlessly gets on the floor, hooks the band over his foot, and lifts his foot toward the ceiling, stretching out his hamstring.
Ugh, looks like I’m going to have to drag my body to the ground on my own.
I stare down at the ground, willing my body to gracefully get into the same position, but every muscle holding my skin and bones together whimpers in pain, begging me to end their misery and never use them again. From squats to lunges to some weird box-jumping thing to more squats to this bench press thing-a-ma-bob to every which way you canmove your arm with a weight in your hand. Nothing was left out of today’s workout.
Nothing.
It’s why when I slowly start to lower my body, attempting to curtsy down to the ground, it instead decides to give out on me, seizing in every which way.
Oh no.
Lady down…
I barely have enough time to pinpoint where I’m landing before Iflop straight on top of the chest of the one and only Graydon St.John.
“Oof, fuck, what are you doing?” he asks.
Great question.
The only answer that comes to mind is…death.
I’m dead.
The fish has flopped and has found the end of its life.
There is nothing left inside me.
There is no shame.
There is no humiliation.
There is no…stamina or fucks to give as I lie lifeless on top of Graydon.
Nope, this is where I live now.
This is my new home.
Pull up a potted plant and a picture of a flamingo, because I don’t see myself moving in the foreseeable future.
“Hello?” he pokes, trying to get me to answer him.
Mumbling, I say, “I live here now.”
“The fuck you do.”
To my surprise, he lifts me by the shoulders like I’m a pool noodle and flops me to the side so my head is now right next to his hip.
“Jesus Christ, why aren’t you…folding properly?”
I stare up at the fluorescent lights, angels singing to me, pulling me into the heavens where I know I will feel no more pain.
“Is this what death feels like?”
