Page 145 of Just for the Cameras
“Whipped,” OC says.
“Shut the fuck up. You’d do the same thing.”
OC rubs his face and nods. “Yeah…you’re right.”
“Do you have everything you need?” Phil asks, looking over my supplies and the lights I have aimed at the wall.
It’s after zoo hours, and I plan on spending as much time here tonight as I can to try to make a big dent on this mural I have mapped out in my head.
It’s going to be simple, nothing too serious, something with a lot of color, abstract objects, minimal shading to make the objects pop, flamingos, and of course, a lot of pink. When I took the idea to Phil, he was actually pretty excited about it. He started talking about how it would be great visibility, especially with the way social media works, and the wall being a great place to pose in front of. Whatever the fuck that means, butit did make me think that I should probably record myself painting for Flock and Tackle.
“I have everything.”
“Good. If you need anything or when you’re ready to leave, the walkie-talkie is here for you to reach security. They’ll help.”
“Thanks,” I say.
“How many nights do you plan on working on this?”
“Hopefully just one. If I have to finish up tomorrow after training camp, I will.”
He nods. “And you don’t want me saying anything to the zookeepers?”
I shake my head. “No, please keep this between us.”
“Okay.” He smiles tightly. “Have a good night.”
“You too.”
He takes off, and I set my phone up against a bucket of paint and turn the camera to face me so I make sure I have the right angle. When I’m satisfied, I press record on the time-lapse and get to work.
First things first, prime the wall.
I let the sounds of the zoo fill in as background noise while I pour paint and start rolling it out on the plain wood.
I hope it’s worth it. Not having Maple to chat to, even if it’s only been a day, has felt so…unnatural.Wrong.I’ve…missed her. Truly missed her. We’ve only known each other for a matter of weeks, but she’s brightened my life, even if I haven’t contributed the same light to hers. And I want her to know that she’s special.Seen.And appreciated. I want her to know thatIappreciate her…and that I don’t want our relationship to only be part of a PR stunt.I want…more.And if painting something for her is what makes that happen, then, that’s what I’ll be doing.
It’s going to be a long fucking night.
CHAPTER 27
MAPLE
I stare at the linkfor a ride that Graydon sent me to get me to work this morning and swipe out of his text thread.
I couldn’t possibly click on it. Not after yesterday. I don’t want him thinking I need him in my life.
So instead, I order my own car and head outside when the app says the car is one minute away.
I feel exhausted.
I didn’t sleep well last night, constantly tossing and turning, thinking about Graydon even though I didn’t want to. I wonder what got into him on Monday if it wasn’t about the texts I sent. He almost seemed confused when I was talking to him about it, like he couldn’t quite understand why I brought it up.
Was I overthinking what happened on Saturday? Probably, but insecurity runs deep inside me when it comes to this man. Our entire “relationship” started off with him making fun of my pants, followed by him acting practically insulted at the thought of having to be attached to me, solidifying the thought in my head that I was not good enough for him. Not that I was looking to start anything at that time.
And yes, Friday night, at our event, it changed things. We kissed, for crying out loud, and now…God, now I feel like if I even look at him, I might start crying…or jump in his arms and beg him to talk to me, to tell me what’s going on in that head of his.
And I hate it.
