Page 138 of Just for the Cameras
The screams.
My agonizing inability to take care of her.
Maple’s eyes well up with tears.
The thought of her knowing the truth.
It’s too fucking much.
I need…I need a goddamn second.
“Graydon,” she says, taking another step forward, her eyes searching mine, her hand once again against my chest, and that’s all it takes.
I snap.
“I said don’t fucking touch me!” I yell, moving her hand off me. “Jesus, what don’t you understand about that? Don’t fucking touch me.”
Just then, three of my teammates, including Hutton, turn the corner, taking in the scene in front of them.
Maple looks over her shoulder at them, then turns toward me again, her eyes brimming with tears, embarrassment etched in her expression.
Her lip quivers.
And then before I can say anything, she pushes past me and hurries down the hallway, right out of the facility.
Fuck.
“Head to the field,” Hutton says to the other two guys and then steps forward. When his eyes meet mine, he just nods and slips his hand around my shoulder, guiding me toward the locker room.
He knows.
He might be the only one who knows.
He knows Sundays are my visiting days.
He knows about my mom.
And he’s very much aware of the toll a bad visit takes on me.
Because of that, he says nothing, just makes sure I get strapped into my gear so I can do some damage.
And that’s exactly what I do.
I stare at Gate B, willing myself to get out of my truck to take Maple home like I’ve done every day since her car accident. I checked at the shop the other day on the progress of her car, wanting to try to give her some good news, but they were waiting on a part, so it’s taking much longer than expected for things to get fixed.
And after this morning, I don’t know what to say to her.
I know I embarrassed her.
I know that I was out of line, and I realized that by the first water break after getting some aggression out and somewhat clearing my head. Fear drove me to snap at her. Fear of her finding out the truth. The truth I don’t want her to know because I don’t want her pitying me like everyone else in this goddamn world.
I can’t stand the look people offer me when they know my situation.
And I can’t get that from her.
I fucking can’t.
Blowing out a heavy breath, knowing I need to apologize, I get out of my truck and head toward Gate B just as it opens, Maple standing on the other side.
