Page 10 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“A vibrator for someone who hasn’t broken their hymen yet?”
A twisted look of disgust crossed Delaney’s face as she studied me.
“You can say hymen but pussy is disgusting to you?”
“It’s a medical term; the P-word is slang.”
Shaking her head at me, Delaney said, “I love you, Rosie, but you can be so naïve at times. A bullet is a clit stimulator. It doesn’t go in your vagina, it just plays between your valley.”
“You mean . . . it plays in my sweet lady folds?”
“Jesus, yes,” Delaney answered while tossing the bullet on my bed. She started laughing. “I can’t believe you got it stuck in your vagina.” As if she just realized what she walked in on, she started laughing hysterically while gripping the doorway to my room. “You got it stuck in your vagina and were jumping up and down to get it out.” She slid to the ground and wiped tears from her eyes, while I folded my arms across my chest and waited for her to be done.
“How was I supposed to know?” I asked. “There were no instructions. Henry just told me to find my O. Who knew there was such a thing as a clit stimulator?”
“You would know if you ever went to sex shops with me.”
“Did you know those places are covered in semen? You know those sex video booths in the back? Yeah, they don’t have hand sanitizer. There is no way I would go in one of those places. You can practically get pregnant from sniffing the air.”
“Yes, I did read that in the headlines the other day: Sexually charged woman gets pregnant from breathing in too much sex-shop air.”
I studied Delaney for a second and said, “You and I both know that title is way too long for a headline.”
Delany got off the ground while laughing and shaking her head. “Seriously, Rosie, I’m proud of you for trying, but maybe ask next time before you start sticking things in your vagina. Could you imagine if we had to go to the hospital to get that thing removed? itting in the hospital while you’re constantly getting vibrated?” She laughed loudly again and wiped more tears from her eyes.She looks like she’s hyperventilating.“God, can you actually stick it back up there so we can see what happens in the waiting room? That would just make my night.”
“You can leave now.”
“All right.” She held up her hands but said before leaving, “By the way, I’m calling my wax specialist tomorrow. We’re getting you a Brazilian, girl, because that bush is not the least bit flattering.”
“Hey, I trim,” I said, clenching my legs together.
“We want smooth, Rosie, not trimmed. Believe me, when you finally get a guy down there, you want to make sure things are as clean as possible.”
Another wave of embarrassment flashed through me from the thought of a guy being so intimate with me.
“And stop flushing every time I talk about sex. You have to own it, girl. Be a sexual being. Start watching porn, that might help.”
“Okay, goodbye, Delaney.”
“Bye, Rosie. Make me proud and masturbate the right way: one hand on the tit and one on the clit.”
I shut my door on her as she laughed all the way to her room. I looked at the tissue-wrapped bullet on my bed and sneered. The damn thing knew exactly what I was doing and took advantage of me. I wouldn’t be going near it for a while. Stupid Henry.
Grabbing my notebook, I sat back at my desk and continued to write in my journal.
June 2, 2018
I saw a couple making out on the subway today . . . Note to self: google sex toy objects before using them. Such rash actions may cause bodily harm and embarrassing trips to the hospital without the proper research being conducted first.
On another note, vibrators are not sized due to your sexual experience. Bullet vibrators are for clitoral stimulation, not virgins who still need to be de-flowered. Also, Virginia, aka my vagina, enjoyed the pulse option on the bullet but did not like being viciously attacked by said stuck bullet, aka, the mini machine.
Chapter Three
Porn is Science
“Rosie, come on, please come here,” Henry said, calling me to the couch. “I didn’t know you were going to get the vibrator stuck in your vagina.” He laughed on the last word.
“Why did you take the instructions?” I asked while I reluctantly sat on the couch next to him and let him pull me into his embrace. I rested my head on his chest as his arm wrapped round my shoulders. “Oh my God, was it used before?” I asked, looking up at him.
