Page 67 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“Sweetie,” Derk said lightly, “that’s called exaggerating. We both know it wasn’t on her nose.”
“It was. Remember, she came stumbling out of the bathroom the night we went to that small rinky-dink bar in the Meatpacking District? Her hair was all a mess and her beauty mark was on the tip of her nose.”
“Babe, you were highly intoxicated that night. You thought my dick was sprouting out of my ear.”
“Why are you taking her side? Do you like her? Have you been talking to her behind my back this whole time?” Delaney yelled.
Derk threw his hands in the air and said, “I give up. She had her beauty mark on her nose.”
Smiling with satisfaction, Delaney turned toward me and said, “Works every time. Remember that when you have a solid man in your life: just keep pushing him until he gives in.”
“Great advice, babe. Teaching her how to show a guy to an early gravestone. Real nice.”
“Just trying to help a girl out,” Delaney said with a wink. “So what happened with handsome Alejandro? Was it everything I thought it was going to be? That picture speaks for itself. I’m just wondering why it has a size-seven heel print in it.”
We looked to the mantel in our living room where Henry had hung the punctured canvas for all to see. It was our new artwork, and I giggled just looking at the stupid thing.
“I wondered what that new artwork was,” Derk said, studying it. “That dude is packing in that picture.”
“Well, it’s not very accurate,” I mumbled.
“What?” Delaney shoved my shoulder so I had to look at her. “I’m sorry, but did I just hear you right? You saw his penis last night?”
“I did,” I said, making Delaney’s jaw drop to the counter. “I don’t want to get into it, but let’s say I saw his penis. It was extremely hairy, so I left his apartment as quickly as possible.”
“Ah, come on,” Derk said, sounding disgusted. “Guys who don’t man-scape really give us a bad name. A little trim to the balls goes a long way, especially when your lady is keeping things clean.”
“Thanks, babe.” Delaney kissed Derk on the lips. “He’s right. If he wasn’t shaved and trimmed down below, I would never put his balls in my mouth, and I’m going to be honest with you, Rosie; I like man balls in my mouth.”
Did she just say she liked man balls in her mouth? I doubted that would ever be a sentence I’d utter because after my experience from last night, I wouldn’t be able to look at a set of balls without gagging.
“I’m sorry, but did you really say you liked balls in your mouth?”
“I did,” Delaney confirmed casually. “There is something about having your man by the balls, being able to bite down on their most prized possession with one tick of your jaw, not that I would, but it’s so powerful. Plus I like running my tongue along Derk’s scrotum. He practically purrs when I do it. It’s fun.”
“You know, babe, there are some things you can keep between us. It’s okay to do that.”
“Where’s the fun in that? Then I wouldn’t be able to see how red your face gets when I talk about how you purr.” Delaney turned toward me and continued. “He also likes it when I run my finger into the crevice of his thigh, right where his leg meets the juncture of his waist. He says it tickles him but it actually makes him harder . . .”
“Babe, seriously. Enough,” Derk said, looking an awful shade of red.
“Don’t be so stuck-up, Derk. We’re sharing.”
“Are we? Okay.” Derk set his pizza down, brushed his hands off, and looked directly at me. “You know the noise that comes out of Delaney’s mouth when we’re doing it, the hyena-sounding one?” I nodded my head just as Delaney covered his mouth with her hand.
“Don’t you dare fucking say a thing,” she warned.
Well, now I was intrigued. Whenever Derk and Delaney were together in her room, it wasn’t uncommon to hear a wild banshee-sounding animal sound. I chalked it up to Delaney having a really good time with Derk, but now it seemed like she had some hidden sex secret.
Fighting off her arms, Derk pinned her against the counter and looked over her shoulder at me with an evil grin.
“Your friend has a serious toe fetish and if I do anything to her toes, she starts hissing and screaming like a hyena. If I want the girl to come, I just wiggle her big toe while I’m deep inside of her and she’s a goner.”
He pulled away from Delaney, pleased with himself. Delaney brushed down her rumpled shirt and stuck her chin up as she turned around to face me.
“I’ve found that I enjoy a good toe wiggle during sex. There is nothing wrong with that. I just know what I like. I’ve made it easy for you,” she said to Derk.
I tried to hold it in but I couldn’t. A snort escaped me, instantly making me cover my mouth. A sneer greeted me when I looked at Delaney.
