Page 65 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“Yes, his muse, you know, the penis. The real-life portrait, not the painted one.”
“Like he just pulled his pants down?”
“Yes.”
“Fucking creep.” His voice stung with anger. “Guys are so fucking weird.” Softly he added, “I’m sorry, Love.”
“It’s okay, I was actually fascinated, to the point that I decided to, um, lick it. Well lick in that vicinity.”
“Lick it?” Henry asked surprised. “Love, you touched your first penis.”
“Not really, more like just licked his legs because his hand was wrapped around his cock, not giving me a chance to actually touchthe muse. Once he fully pulled his pants down, that’s when I realized there was a wooly mammoth staring back up at me. Henry, you were right, some guys didn’t care about shaving.”
“Oh shit, really?” He laughed.
“Yes, like, a brillo pad.”
“Fuck, that’s nasty.” He chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair.
“So nasty, but I still licked it. I licked his nut sac. I’m going to blame it on the margarita and extreme curiosity.”
“Let’s just stick with the margarita.”
I nodded and continued. “So I licked it and drooled a lot because the hair was too much to handle and when I pulled away for a breather, a pube was stuck in the back of my throat.”
“Oh, I’m going to dry-heave.”
He’s not the only one.
“I did the same thing, but Alejandro had the wrong idea and pushed my head back down to continue to lick him.”
“He forced you?” Henry tensed, but I soothed him by rubbing his chest.
“He did . . . but I think he learned his lesson.”
“How, did you bite his balls off?”
“No, just puked all over him.”
Henry stilled and turned to look me in the eyes. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I dry-heaved so bad that my stomach saidthat was enoughand I puked all over his genitalia. I left him with a puked-up penis.”
Studying me for a second, Henry was silent. But then his head flew back and he laughed a pure and genuine laugh. I joined him. Together, our laughs echoed through the room, easing the worry of the night from my mind.
Finally, Henry pulled me in close and whispered, “That’s my girl. Fuck, that is so great. Fucker deserved it.”
“Yeah he did. After he realized what happened, he yelled something in Spanish and dashed to the bathroom, decorated penis wobbling about. While he was taking care of himself, I ran for the door, punctured one of his pictures, and dragged it out onto the streets of New York where I hailed a cab.”
Still chuckling, Henry continued to stroke my hair. “Even though you had a bad night, I’m glad you were able to take care of yourself by throwing up on your date. What better way to tell him no by tossing your tacos all over his precious work of art.”
“His muse.”
“Exactly. I love it. Good job, love.”
“Thanks, I guess.” I chuckled.
We lay in silence, staring at the ceiling together. It was comforting having Henry next to me, knowing even though I might have had a bad night, he would always be there for me.
