Page 50 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“Wait, what?” Derk asked while looking over at Delaney. “You made her bleach her butthole? Why would you do that?”
Delaney looked at her nails and said, “There is too much butthole talk in this apartment. Honestly, can’t we be adults and talk about something else?”
“No,” Derk said matter-of-factly. “Why did she get her butthole bleached?”
“I didn’t tell her to do it. Marta did.”
Derk shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. “I can’t wrap my head around that right now. Bloom, tell us why it mattered about your bleached ass.”
“Duh, I didn’t want it lighting up for the world to see under the black lights.”
It made perfect sense to me but apparently Henry, Delaney, and Derk thought I was joking because at the same time, they all threw their heads back and roared with laughter while grabbing on to their stomachs.
“Please don’t tell me you think the black lights would have made that thing glow,” Delaney offered.
“I don’t know. They might have.”
“Rosie, your asshole was bleached, not dipped in radioactive materials. That is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. Please don’t tell me you actually believed that.”
I just shrugged my shoulders because frankly, I’d been deathly scared of things lighting up down there from the black lights. I had no clue what Marta did to me. For all I knew, she could have pierced the damn thing, and I wouldn’t have felt it, not after the ass-ripping she gave me right before.
“That’s beside the point,” Henry cut in. “I want to know what you did.”
Taking a deep breath, I continued. “Lance noticed something was wrong immediately so he started to come toward me, which I didn’t want, given my predicament, so I backed up into the alley and slipped on the grease they use to help the balls roll, falling straight on my ass and exposing my ripped jeans for Lance. Gave him a front-row seat actually.”
“Oh Jesus.” Henry shook his head while Delaney and Derk tried to contain their laughter.
“Yea, he was pretty sweet about it though. He told me about a time he split his pants and then he gave me his cardigan so I could walk out of the bowling alley with a shred of dignity. He brought me back here and that’s when he kissed me outside our apartment. It was fantastic.”
“Besides the jeans ripping and exposing Virginia to Lance on the first night, I would say you had a good date,” Henry said.
“We did. He asked me to go out again.”
“Do you want to see him again?” Delaney asked while Derk saddled up next to her to place a hand on her bare thigh.
“I do,” I admitted, wanting what Delaney had with Derk. “I’m just nervous. First of all, I have that date with Alejandro tomorrow. Do I cancel it or do I still go on it?”
“You have no promises committed to Lance, you aren’t exclusive, so I say still go on the date,” Delaney said. “Right, Henry?”
Henry was looking at his coffee mug as if in serious thought.
“What?”
Rolling her eyes, Delaney repeated herself. “Rosie can still go on a date with Alejandro tomorrow.”
“Eh, no. I don’t think that’s a good—”
“Shut up,” Delaney said. “You’re only saying that because you don’t like Alejandro, which is just so weird since you were the one who set up her online dating account. You really only have yourself to blame.” She turned to me and said, “You’re going out with Alejandro tomorrow. What’s the second issue?”
Feeling a little awkward, especially since Derk was in the room and Henry was being weird, I shifted in my seat and finished my coffee.How do I say this?“Things got pretty heated with us last night. He was very touchy. I liked it, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like if I go on another date with him, he’s going to want to step it up a notch.”
“Don’t you want that?” Henry asked.
“Yes, but I don’t know if I’m ready. I mean, what if he pulls his pants down?”
“What do you mean?” Henry asked. “Do you think guys just enter a room and pull their pants down?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I started this new book and the guy walks in the room all the time with his pants off. What if that happens to me? What if he pulls his pants down and starts pelvic thrusting in my direction? What do I do? Do I open my mouth? Or do I spread my legs?”
