Page 41 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“Okay, good.”
With confidence, I pressed send and hoped I didn’t sound too cheesy.
“I’m proud of you,” Henry said.
“Why’s that?” I asked, as I walked to my desk and opened up my laptop to the dating website to scope out the other messages.
Henry adjusted his seat on my unmade bed and played with the blankets.
“For putting yourself out there, it’s very brave.”
“It’s all for research.” I smirked.
“How is the book coming along?”
“Scratched the whole thing. I don’t know if a medieval romance is something I can write.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, since I’ve started this new journey, I’ve been reading some more contemporary romance and I have to be honest with you, I love it. Contemporary romance is so different than a historical romance. It’s a little more edgy, the slang is more up to date, and the sex, holy crap, Henry, you should read some of these sex scenes.”
“Really?” he asked, looking really intrigued. “Like soft porn?”
“More like hard porn.” I leaned forward and spoke animatedly. “The girls like it hard, they like their panties to be ripped off, and they tell the guy they’re with when they’re going to”—I looked around and whispered—“come, like straight up shout it to the rooftops.”
A bellow of a laugh escaped Henry as he held his stomach.
“What’s so funny? It’s true. And you should read some of the things these girls do. Henry, I read one book where the girl let the guy stick a pencil in her butt hole.”
Henry’s laughing seized and one of his eyebrows rose in question. “Rosie, what the hell are you reading? I don’t remember downloading any books like that for you.”
“It’s a teacher/student romance. I know I had mixed feelings about that kind of story, but I went for it. It seemed interesting, but then things got a little out of control. It’s fascinating. She liked the pencil in her butt hole, she was holding it for him while he graded her physique. She got an A plus of course, but still, just fascinating.”
“Rosie, you know she could have held the pencil with her hands, he didn’t have to stick it in her butt hole. That seems kind of odd.”
“Wait”—I stopped him with my hand up and said—“that’s not a regular thing?”
“Sticking pencils in people’s assholes? No, Rosie, that is not normal.”
I sat back in my seat and thought about it for a second. It seemed so normal in the book . . . there was no hesitation. It was like,oh you’re sticking that pencil in my ass, perfect!Like the woman knew her ass was the perfect receptacle for such actions and should be modeled as the modern-day pencil holder.
“Well, that seems a little disturbing then. Why would the author write that?”
“How the hell would I know?” Henry laughed. “Do I need to start screening what you read? Honestly, Rosie, are you that naive? You know I love you, but a pencil in the ass?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged and laughed. “I just learned how to suck a dick on a banana the other day. How am I supposed to know that people aren’t supposed to stick things in butt holes?”
“Oh, things can go in butt holes, just not pencils.”
“Oh. Like anal plugs,” I said with pride. “She had an anal plug in her butt before she had the pencil. And you know, I was thinking the other day, when he pulled out the anal plug to replace with the pencil, do you think it made a popping sound? Like when you pull a cork out of a wine bottle? I’m trying to envision this so-called plug and all I can think about is a wine cork.”
Visions of corks in butts ran through my mind while I turned and saw Henry running his hands up and down his face, like he was in pain.
“Rosie, you know how to use Google, so why didn’t you do a search to see what an anal plug looks like?”
“It’s not a wine cork?”
“For fuck’s sake, no, Rosie.” He laughed. “An anal plug is thin on one side and thicker on the other and they come in all colors and sizes.”
