Page 217 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“Oh, I’m terrified,” Delaney feigned and giggled.
“So, we have to bust this penis open fast. A quick reminder, please don’t start gathering your items from the penis until we are done breaking it open. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, and don’t forget to put on your dickwear to protect your eyes.”
“We’re not children,” Delaney said, grabbing the stick from me and knocking it on the ground a couple of times. “Watch out, ladies. It’s time this penis gets whacked off.”
Shoving me out of the way, I stumbled into the wall and watched as Delaney worked the crowd, asking them to raise the noise in the room by shouting, “Beat that meat. Beat that meat.”
“Let me hear it, ladies.” Delaney walked around in the circle, putting her hand to her ear, trying to make their screeches deafening.
Within the blink of an eye, Delaney raised the stick above her head, called out a war cry and started beating the pinata, showing no mercy.
Smack after smack, the penis swung around, getting massacred by a drunken phallic-infatuated woman adorned with a cock bong as a scarf, and a blowup doll in her cleave.
The staff and I all stood back . . . terrified There was no stopping her; I had lost all control of the party, and if the crowd of ladies tore down the building, the only thing I could do was apologize and maybe offer up Sir Licks-a-Lot as an apology—anything to get rid of him.
Delaney’s arms flew around like a Jedi in an epic battle, and just when I thought she was going to give up, she grabbed the bottom half of the stick, raised it over her head like a sword, and stabbed the hell out of the balls of the piñata. After two stabs, one single cock ring fell out.
The room silenced. Delaney tossed the stick to someone on the side and dropped down to the floor on her knees. With both hands, she lifted the cock ring above her head as if it was the body of Christ and shouted, “It’s a cock ring.”
Her battle howl rang through the room, all the women in awe.
Before I could stop her, Delaney tore the penis off its string, ripped the head of the cock off—I cringed for Derk—and placed the base of the penis at her hips. In a circular motion, she thrust the giant cock at everyone, spilling cock rings and condoms all over the place.
Dignified and educated women fell to their knees and started scooping up sexual aids, stuffing them in their bras and knocking out their neighbors for the goods.
In the center of the piñata brawl stood Delaney, holding an armful of paraphernalia and tossing it to whoever wanted to catch them as if she was Oprah saying, “You get a cock ring, and you get a cock ring, and you get a cock ring.” She twirled in circles and sprayed them all in the air, dancing under a sea of vibrating penis rings. “Everyone gets a cock ring.”
“Your friend has some serious problems,” the waiter next to me whispered in my ear.
I gave him the stink eye, not liking the way he was talking about Delaney. “Don’t talk about my friend that way, you . . . you . . . ghoul.”
Yes, Delaney had problems. Yes, she was experiencing a high dose of crazy at the moment, but this was her night, her dream party, and I would be damned if anyone but me judged her.
The floor was being swept up by all the ladies, making sure every last piece from the piñata was claimed, while I dragged a chair to the opposite side of the room, the seating area where the stripper would be entertaining Delaney.
I snuck over to my purse really quick to grab my one-dollar bills for Delaney, when I saw a text on my phone from Henry.
Henry:Hope you girls are having fun. Please be careful and don’t let any strippers smack you in the face with their crotch.
I laughed and sent him a quick text back.
Rosie:Don’t worry about me. Just worry about yourself. I have plans for you tonight . . . Mr. Grey.
Henry:What? (confused face emoji)
Not answering him back, just to keep him wondering, I stuffed my phone back in my bag in time to see red flashing lights coming down the hallway and the sound of sirens approaching.
It was the stripper.
Delaney perked up and looked in my direction. Her hands clapped together right before she put them behind her back and said, “I’ve been a naughty girl. Someone slap some cuffs on me.”
Wanting nothing more than to restrain my best friend after the activities that took place tonight, I escorted her to her chair, grabbed the pair of fur-lined handcuffs I’d brought for the occasion, and kneeled behind her so I could fasten them.
The entire room went silent as the stripper entered the room. I couldn’t see what was going on, as all I could hear were the sirens turning off and music turning on. The room gasped when clothes ripped, and I couldn’t help the smile that crossed my face. I knew the man candy I’d picked out for this party had the right nipple size and penis package for Delaney; I couldn’t wait to see her reaction.
The cuffs were being difficult to clasp, but I finally got them in place and stood up to take a good look at Mr. Beefcake, Man Balls Mahki, but instead of the stripper I picked, standing in front of me was the one and only, squirrel tail.
Alejandro.
