Page 190 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
I was, because Ginuwine’s voice boomed through the speakers and spotlights hit the back of the stage, where three men wearing baggy jeans came up on stage, all holding their crotches and thrusting their way in our direction.
I wanted to giggle; I wanted to put a pack of ice on my face to cool it down; I wanted Henry’s penis in my hand to squeeze while I watched these three men gyrate to an extremely naughty song. I was all over the place with my emotions.
Jenny leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, “I think I’m going to need a man after we’re done with this.”
I couldn’t agree more. The song, the lighting, the abs rolling up and down, creating a tidal wave of sex, were impossible to ignore. This was hot, and I was getting more turned on by the minute.
I hadn’t watchedMagic Mikeuntil some of the ladies in my Facebook groups started talking about Channing Tatum’s dance moves, so I decided to give it a whirl. When Henry wasn’t home. Of course. I’d never been exposed to such erotic boogying, nor had I ever seen a man in a thong. I had sex with Henry four times that night. He thought it was his new cologne—which, yes, smelled amazing—but it was me envisioning Henry as Channing Tatum, humping my face on stage wearing only a red G-string.
I fanned my face just thinking about it.
Ginuwine continued to sing as all three men stripped their pants off at the same time. They were wearing matching blue man thongs and moved in tandem to the music. Tidal wave of sex was right.
Remembering the task at hand, I evaluated each man. The one on the right had a massive amount of abs, but I couldn’t get over the fact that his nipples looked like little puff balls. Why weren’t they hard? Non-hard man nipples should be flat, not like someone tried to inflate them but failed miserably. He was a no for me.
The man in the middle, now he had great nipples, hard and pointy, just the way Delaney liked them. His abs were great, and he was completely hairless, but as he stepped forward, I noticed his package wasn’t as jiggly as Delaney would have wanted. They were all thrusting in the air, and his barely moved. Made me wonder, did he stuff? No jiggle to the junk meant no bachelorette party. He was a no.
“Oh my God,” Jenny said, as she pinched my thigh.
“Ouch.” I rubbed my leg. “Why are you pinching me?”
Jenny nonchalantly pointed at the man on the left. He had dark brown hair, great nipples, fantastic abs, and . . . oh, my God.
“His balls are enormous.”
“Are those apples in there or a man’s sack?” Jenny asked, unable to tear her gaze away.
All three men were on the edge of the stage, holding on to their heads and thrusting their hips, as if they were trying to consummate with the lights above them. Middle man had no reach, but by the earthquake shaking in left man’s banana hammock, I was afraid his boulders were going to roll out and sit on our laps.
Henry had great balls, such a lovely nut sac to touch and play with. But the balls up on stage, the man pouch bouncing at us, shaking its change, that was one piece of junk that actually terrified me. One slap from those in the face and you’d need a frozen penis pop placed on your eye to avoid bruising.
He was perfect.
They finished up the song by turning around to show us their butt flexing, which, in all honesty was pretty impressive. I flexed my butt along with them, trying to stay in beat to the music.
Once the dance was over, the lights came on and the lady helping us earlier came out of nowhere. I clapped, not really sure if I was supposed to or not, and Jenny joined in with me after she realized I was the only one cheering for the penis parade that just came through the room.
“Thank you, gentlemen. Ladies, did you see anything you liked?”
Before I could stop myself, I said, “Giant man balls was fantastic. We’ll take him home for our bride.”
I heard it the minute it left my lips. The men chuckled and man balls looked incredibly uncomfortable.
“I didn’t mean it like that, like I was going to take him back to our lair so we could pay homage to his potato sack. There will hopefully be some light tapping with his penis to the bride’s face, but there will be no tongue involved. She just wants a good whack from one more random penis before she walks down the aisle. You can understand that, right?”
The room was silent, and not even a pin dropped to echo through the lull in conversation.
“Well, we’ll schedule Makhi for your party. We have your deposit, so I think we’re all set here, thanks, ladies. You know your way out.”
Not even bothering to shake the lady’s hand or wave bye to Man Balls Makhi, we directed ourselves to the front door and let ourselves out onto the streets of New York.
“That wasn’t embarrassing at all,” Jenny said, looking at her phone.
“I shouldn’t be allowed to speak to other humans.”
Jenny didn’t disagree with me. “Pretty much. This was fun and all, but I think I might have scored a date tonight. Thank you, Tinder. I’ll catch you later. Go hump your boyfriend’s face.”
After what I just saw, pretty sure that was on the docket for tonight.
