Page 100 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
Panic washed over me as I backed away and said, “I’m going to pee my pants. Where’s your bathroom?”
“Seriously?” he asked, almost pained.
“Yes.” I stood up and started dancing while grabbing my crotch.
“Umm, okay. Second door on the right down the hall, but hurry up.”
“I will,” I replied, just as I saw him look at me and start to stroke himself.
Ick!
I ran down the hallway, grabbed my phone from my purse, which was thankfully near the door, and locked myself in the bathroom.
Fumbling around, I finally caught my breath and called Delaney.
The phone rang three times before she answered.
“Aren’t you on a date?”
“Delaney, he has a crooked penis,” I whispered.
“What?”
“My date, his penis is crooked, and I mean really crooked. Like someone grabbed it out of fury and bent it to the right.”
“Rosie, didn’t we go over this? All dicks are different shapes and sizes—”
“Delaney, this isn’t like a dick that veers to the side. I’m talking like straight-up, the man has a crooked dick. Like if I let him impale me, the head of his cock would be tickling and winking at my ovary.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes! I’m not even sure how he gets that inside a woman.”
“Maybe he has a fancy swivel trick. You never know, it might feel really good.”
“If I wanted to give him head, I would have to sit to his side to access his penis.”
“It’s not that bad.” Delaney softly laughed.
“Delaney, I’m not kidding. It looks broken. What the hell do I do?”
“Take a picture?”
“That’s not helpful.”
“It’s for science. I want to see it.”
“Why did I even call you?” I asked, feeling exasperated.
“Because you and Henry are fighting.”
“We are not,” I lied.
“Whatever. Just go back in there and play around with it, but remember to steer clear of cum shooting to the right. You don’t want to shoot your eye out.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” She laughed.
