Page 151 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
He had to be kidding. “You’re so fucked up. It was called the seventies; men had long hair back then. Shit, men have long hair now, but it’s actually even longer and piled on top of their heads in messy buns or braids. Can’t call a dude a lady because of long hair.”
That shut Freddy up enough for me to walk past him, out of the kitchen, and back to my cube. How he managed to corner me almost every morning was beyond me. He must have some kind of warning signal that tipped him off whenever I arrived at or left my cube.
Knowing I had a meeting with the board at nine, I woke up my computer to get a jump-start on some of my emails before the atmosphere in the office was flipped upside down. My inbox was loaded, and I started scanning my emails. Nothing too pressing, so I grabbed my phone to text Rosie when Freddy squatted in my cube, breathing rather heavily.
“Bro-tato Chip, did you see the new girl? Holy shit, the legs on that pair of tits extend all the way to her nipples. And could her skirt get any smaller? I’m about to run up to her backside and poke my full-on rod up that skirt, really introduce myself via cock-mail.”
“Shut the fuck up, man. You’re so goddamn offensive.” In case they were walking around, I bowed my head as I spoke, not wanting any of the board of directors to hear me. “Can you not be a total douche-canoe for at least five minutes?”
“Not when those fuckable lips are walking around, and I’m not talking about the ones on her face. Boo-yah.” He held up his hand for a high five, but instead, I punched him in the stomach, causing him to bend over. He nodded his head as he held on to his stomach. “All right, respect. I can jump on board with deserving that one.”
“Glad you realized that.”
“Anderson, conference room,” Eric called out from across the cube farm.
“Ooooo, you’re in trouble.”
“Shut the fuck up, you moron,” I muttered, kicking him in the shin as I stood and buttoned my jacket. I could do this; she was just a female, apparently one with long legs. This job was made for me. I worked my ass off for this job. I fucking deserved this job.
Once I finished my mental pep talk, I grabbed my leather-bound notepad and walked toward the conference room. From a distance, I saw the back of the girl. She had long brown, almost caramel-colored hair, her legs were long like Freddy said, and yes, she had a bit of a supermodel body, but honestly, she was nothing compared to Rosie, not even fucking close.
As I grew closer, I observed the way she flirted with the male board members, touching their arms and leaning in close to talk to them. From behind, there was something familiar about her that I couldn’t place; maybe it was her overcompensating feminine wiles that reminded me of some of the women I used to date.
Before I entered the conference room, Eric cut off my path and pulled me to the side. Whispering, he said, “Listen to me closely. Do not go in there and suck ass to the board. Be strong, be confident; act like this job is already yours, like you already have an office of glass rather than poorly upholstered cardboard walls. You got it?”
“You betcha, boss man.” The minute I said it, I heard it. Not the best response.
“None of that shit in there either.”
“Yup, that was bad. I’m just a little on edge. I’ve got this, though.”
“Eric, Henry, come in,” Darlene said, motioning us to join everyone.
I straightened my tie and followed Eric into the room, shutting the glass door behind me. A long, oak table ran the length of the conference room with brown leather upholstered office chairs lining the perimeter. There was a large TV on one side for video calls and a whiteboard on the other side, which was never used anymore due to the use of technology now, and the fact that Eric was the guy who loved drawing ideas on the glass walls. He enjoyed pointing out that if Google could do it, so could we.
To my left was the president of the board, Darlene, and the vice president, Danielle. To my right stood the new hire and three other board members, all men, of course. I had my work cut out for me.
“Henry, it’s good to see you.” Darlene held out her hand.
“Darlene, always a pleasure. How are the twins? Still playing soccer?”
“Aren’t they always? I need to start investing in some stock of Tide Stain Remover because the amount of grass stains I have to battle every night is overwhelming.”
“I can’t imagine.” I chuckled and shook my head. Yes, I was good at this. “At least they’re still focused on sports and not girls. Be grateful for that.”
Darlene laughed and shook her finger. “Such a smart man.” She then turned to Danielle and said, “Danielle, you remember Henry, right? Eric’s right-hand man.”
“Yes, Henry, how are you?”
“I’m great, Danielle. Thank you for asking. Last time we spoke, you were headed to Europe for a backpacking trip. Please tell me you made it to Greece.”
“It was incredibly hard to return. If it wasn’t for my husband, I would still be out there feasting on baklava and soaking up the sun.”
“I don’t blame you,” I replied. “Greece is on my bucket list. I’ll make it there one day.”
Darlene pointed behind me and said, “Henry, you remember Dale, Walter, and Steve?”
“I do,” I answered, turning around to shake their hands and start up some more small talk, but the minute I turned around, my breath was completely knocked out of me by the new hire.
