Page 133 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“Me too,” I gritted out as my hair fell in front of my face, blocking my view of Henry.
“You’re so beautiful,” he squeaked as he stiffened under me.
That was all I needed, and together, we both fell over the edge and thrust into each other, riding out our orgasms until there was nothing left.
My body flopped on top of his while he shucked the condom and cock ring to the ground. It was a habit I was not fond of but one that could be fixed by birth control or a wastebasket next to the bed. Simple.
Henry’s hands ran up and down my back as he kissed my shoulder, slowly bringing me back to the present.
“Is that going to make the book?” Henry asked, full of hope.
“That is definitely going to make the book.”
“What else can we try?” He made me laugh.
“How about we take a break for a second.”
“Come on, you know Virginia wants more.”
He was right, because Virginia was sending me her Kegel sign for yes at a rapid pace. You know, like Batman’s signal but for . . . pussies. I tamped her down. She couldn’t make all the decisions.
“She does, but give her at least a few minutes.”
“Fair enough.” Henry kissed along my jaw. I knew exactly what he was trying to do and damn if it wasn’t working.
Pressing against his chest, I lifted myself up and looked him in the eyes. “I love you, Henry.”
His eyes softened as he gripped my cheek with his hand. “I love you, Rosie. More than anything.”
And just like that, I had my happily ever after . . . and so did Virginia and Poseidon.
Part Two
THE RANDY ROMANCE NOVELIST
Prologue
ROSIE
It happened to me. I lost the big V, and I don’t mean Virginia; she was still intact. No, I lost my virginity . . . finally!
I had sexual intercourse, I did the dirty, I performed the sexuals,andI horizontally twerked it.
Basically, penis met vagina and had one hell of a party at the pleasure palace.
I did this with my best friend, Henry, now the love of my life. I never thought I’d find such an all-consuming love with someone I’d known forever. It seemed like a fairy tale. I’d finally handed my heart over to someone who would care for it as if it were their own.
Life after the big V was deflowered wasn’t what I expected it to be. I’d watched several movies and I’d read thousands of books that faded into black after the big magical make-up kiss; none of them prepared me for what I was going through now.
In fictional stories, couples were catapulted into their happily ever after. In my mind, they were frolicking across prairies filled with daffodils, walking hand in hand, gazing at each other through rose-colored glasses. The outside world was non-existent. Couples were trapped in a cocoon of love for the rest of their lives, never seeing a dark moment ever again.
This theory was rudely destroyed after I experienced the big kiss that faded into black. No one stopped to congratulate us on finding the person we were meant to spend the rest of our life with. There was no one to film us during our big kiss. Cameras didn’t travel in circles around us, capturing our mouths melting into each other, sealing our love, like every epic romantic movie I’d ever watched.
No, the pretty picture I had in my head was a far cry from the real-life one, which consisted of kissing Henry on the streets of New York with catchy music like “Signed, Sealed, Delivered.” Instead, there was a wheezy old man kicking us in the shins to get out of the way so he could throw out his expired coffee cup that carried pee in it rather than the day’s dark roast special.
Life as I knew it returned. I was forced to go back to work and write about litter boxes and clumping formula, while hoping and praying I didn’t run into the man whose chin I’d farted on in the elevator. No one offered you discounts for being in love or finding your perfect soulmate. There was no spontaneous combustion of brilliant fireworks following me around every time I thought of Henry.
There was combustion all right, but it was the subway smell filtering through the street grates mixed with yesterday’s trash simmering on the streets. Not the kind of epic love I’d expected.
