Page 126 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
“There is no talking, Henry. Good luck with your move. I hope you and Tasha are happy together. I remember how good she was to you in college.”
With a shattered heart, a hole in my chest, and a lack of purpose, I walked back into my room and threw my torn-up body on my bed. This was what heartache felt like. This was what all those books had tried to describe but never truly did justice to. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into a dark hole and never see sunlight again. The feeling of total emptiness encompassed me as darkness took over. I shut my eyes, allowing the world around me to move on while I lay, fragile and cracked.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The Smell
From my window sill, I watched as Henry directed the men packing the moving truck with his boxes. I took the rest of the week off, faking illness, and lay in bed, wondering when the pain in my heart would stop. Unfortunately, it hadn’t. It had only grown worse, especially since it was Saturday and Henry was moving out.
I hadn’t seen Tasha since Wednesday, but then again, I’d only showered and left my room for the first time today.
The smell coming off my body had been too overwhelming this morning, so I gave in and took a shower, which was a bad idea since I stared at Henry’s razor in the bathroom and cried over the fact that I wouldn’t see that razor in the shower anymore. I contemplated stealing it for my own sick purposes, but refrained from going batshit crazy on him. Instead, I emptied the remaining shampoo in my bottle and filled it with some of Henry’s so I would at least smell him for the next couple of days.
Pathetic? Yup, that was me, pathetic with a capital P.
When I wasn’t lying around, I was writing, fixing the problem in my life through my words in my book. I made sure my two main characters were always together, and no matter what they faced, they were next to each other, hand in hand. There was no breakup, no apex in the story where everything came crashing down. I was simply too raw to write such a thing. No, they would be together forever. If I couldn’t make it happen in real life, then I sure as hell made it happen in my book.
Currently, I was that wishy-washy girl who went back and forth from loving and hating Henry. I hated him because he’d moved on within minutes after we’d yelled at each other on Sunday, but then again, I was the one who started it all so did I really have the right to blame him? No, I didn’t.
Delaney tried to come into my room and convince me to talk to Henry, but after the second time of her barging in, I started barricading my door with a chair. I didn’t want visitors. I just wanted to smell, be lonely, and lie in the dark.
Derk came up to Henry and patted him on the back while giving him a handshake. I hated that Derk and Delaney were helping him. I mean, I got why, they were friends, but the bitter person living in my shell of a body wanted them to hate Henry—which was ludicrous. Henry didn’t do anything to them, except maybe fooled them into thinking he actually cared about me.How I wish they both hadn’t believed him and pushed me to go after him.No, he’d only wrapped me around his finger, made me love him, and then tossed me away.
That was a lie. He didn’t toss me away. That was the bitter part of me talking. The bitter me made up lies in my head, tried to convince my brain that my heart was broken because of Henry, he’d ruined everything, not me. But the sensible side of me knew Bitter Betty was trying to get her revenge.
The movers closed the back of the truck and started pulling away from the curb. Delaney gave Henry a hug and shrugged her shoulders when she pulled away. The three of them looked up toward my window, making me duck behind my curtain. My stealth-like moves suggested I hadn’t been detected, but by the way they were shaking their heads after I took a peek, I was slower than I thought.
I didn’t care; if they saw me, they saw me. What use was it going to do now?
I watched as Henry took out his phone and started typing, probably texting Tasha to see if she wanted something to eat. That was the kind of guy Henry was, always thinking ahead and making sure his friends were well taken care of.
Damn.
My phone beeped with a text message, drawing me from my thoughts.
Henry:Rosie, come down here and say bye. Don’t just stare at us from up there.
Mortification ran through me. Another thing about Henry, he loved calling us out.
Come say bye to him?Yeah, no thank you. That was the last thing I needed right now. Even though I was smelling like Henry, thank you, shampoo, there was no way I was strong enough to say bye to him and not cry, not cling to his leg and beg him not to go. I’d lived with Henry for so long now that not having him in the room next to me was going to be weird. I couldn’t face reality just yet.
Instead of being a grown-up and going downstairs, I text him back.
Rosie:Sorry, can’t. Probably not the best idea anyway. Happy housewarming to you and Tasha.
Tears started falling from my eyes once again, as I turned off my phone and went to my bed. I buried myself in my comforter, separating myself from the world. It was the only way I knew how to live.
The shirt I borrowed from Henry was under my pillow, I never returned it because it was the one thing I had, the one last piece of him I’d be able to hold on to. Damned if I would let it go.
* * *
“Rosie, I’m not kidding. If you don’t let me in this room, I’m going to break down the door and you can explain to the landlord why your door is broken.”
Groaning, I got out of bed and opened my door to find Delaney and Derk standing outside of it, casually dressed with their arms folded over their chests.
“What do you want?” I asked, my voice croaked and my eyes tried to adjust to the light. What time was it and what day was it?
“You smell.” Delaney pinched her nose.
