Bodi: I shouldn’t be. I have a final tomorrow.
Ruby: But you’re awake . . .
Bodi: Nope, I sleep-text.
Ruby: Wow, really? You’re so accurate. If I sleep-text you wouldn’t be able to decipher what I was trying to say.
Bodi: agaks akjaksfjs aksd
Ruby: What’s that?
Bodi: shaownf akwifna wpfen
Ruby: Are you trying to say something, Bodi? Is it Jimmy? Is he stuck in the well?
Bodi: woeooe wben, riemf
Ruby: Tell him I will be right there and to take his hand out of his pants. No one wants to rescue an ass picker.
***
Ruby: GAHHHH!!!!! You’re going to Rio! One race down, just a few more to go. You rock my pink polka-dot socks, Bodi Banks.
Bodi: Thanks, Rubes.
Ruby: That’s it? No happy dance? No celebratory fist pump?
Bodi: I’m fist pumping right now just for you.
Ruby: Oh you’re so kinky!
Bodi: Fist pumping the AIR. Damn, you’re always thinking of my dick.
Shit.Shit.I can’t believe I text that again. She fanned herself last time, which did great things for my ego. But it’s because it’s Ruby. She was right. I am a smart-ass when I text. But, only with her. Only with my Rubes. Weird.
Ruby: Am not.
Bodi: You kind of are.
Ruby: Am not!
Bodi: Just ask me.
Ruby: Ask you for what?
Bodi: The dick pic you’re just salivating to get.
Ruby: Last time I congratulate you.
Bodi: Ah, so you can dish it, but you can’t take it Rubes?
Ruby: Precisely. Glad we cleared that up.
***
Ruby: Have you laid out your penis on the locker room bench yet? I bet it would feel so good after you let it out of the tight confines of your NYLON/LYCRA jammer.
Bodi: Told you, you are obsessed with my penis.