Page 29 of Stroked Long
He’s so handsome.
He’s so broken.
He’s so tempting.
“Hey,” I say, pulling his attention from the heated asphalt.
Scooting off the hood, he stands, hands in pockets, a look of defeat sitting heavy in his stance. “Listen, I don’t want you to quit.” Boy, he gets straight to the point. “I know I’m difficult to work with; it’s something I need to improve on. I was embarrassed after leaving Target. I avoided your calls. I’m sorry.” Running one of his hands through his hair, he looks me in the eyes and says, “I don’t trust anyone else to work with the foundation. Will you reconsider?”
It’s an awkward apology. Choppy in his words, almost slightly robotic, like he’d been practicing it for the last six minutes while I changed. I guess I wouldn’t expect anything else from him.I don’t trust anyone else to work with the foundation.I feel as though I have actually made a little headway. He was embarrassed. He did avoid me. But,he trusts me.And I can’t throw that back at his face.
I sigh and nod my head. “It was never my intention to bail on you, Bodi. I just wanted to see how much you actually wanted and needed me. I don’t want to be a part of a project where I’m not valued. After not hearing from you, I started to rethink my position in the foundation.”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
“I understand that.”Now.I nod. “And I’m thankful for your apology and letting me know you’d still like me to be a part of this. It means a lot to me.”
“Really?” he asks. The pinch in his brow is adorable.
It’s almost like he’s never had a productive conversation before. Like he can’t believe an apology went so easily. Are his social cues really that far off?
My hand presses against his forearm in reassurance. “Really. All I need is a little communication, Bodi.” I wink and pull away. “So, you’re coming over to my place tomorrow to work on the foundation?”
“Am I?” Confusion laces his features.
“You are.” I smile. “I’ll text you my address.” With a wiggle of my fingers, I take off to my car.
Chapter Six
BODI
“Why would I take flowers? This isn’t a date, Eva.”
“It would be if you pulled your head out of your ass. Come on, Bodi, she’s perfect for you. Why won’t you just open up and ask her out?”
“Because I have no intentions of ever dating,” I say while I parallel park into a spot right below Ruby’s apartment. “Eva, I’m fucked up and fucked sideways. I have nothing to offer another human besides paranoia, unnecessary stress, and annoying tendencies.”
“Why do you do that? Talk so badly about yourself.”
“Because it’s true.” I throw the truck into park and get out, making sure to grab the grocery bag I brought with me. “Do I have good qualities? Yeah, but I’m smart enough to realize my bad qualities outweigh the good ones.”
“Don’t you think you could meet someone who understands you? Ruby could be that person.”
“Eva, stop. She’s a colleague, that’s it. Nothing more. So drop it.”
She sighs into the phone. I hate disappointing her more than anything, but this is one of those situations where she will never be able to convince me otherwise.
I’m complicated.
I’m particular.
I’m broken.
I don’t want to bring someone into my kind of crazy. It wouldn’t be fair to them and if I tried to hide it, I know it would come out at some point. And then what? They stick around because they feel bad for me? No fucking thank you. I don’t need anyone’s pity.I don’t want to be another person’s burden like I am to Eva.
“You can use that stern tone with me all you want, but you know I will never let this go. I want you to have what I have with Lauren. I will be damned if you spend your life alone, checking the locks of your windows and counting things in threes.” It’s a little stab that doesn’t go unnoticed. She’s frustrated with me.
“I’ve got to go. Send me a picture.”
