Page 126 of Stroked Long
Please be home, please be home.
I need to see him. I need to make sure he’s okay, to make sureweare okay.
The distinct sound of locks unlocking come from the other side of the door and my heart takes flight.
The door opens to reveal a very worn-out Bodi. Dark circles are under his eyes, his hair is disheveled, and his clothes look like they’ve seen their last day. But it’s the dark, bloodshot eyes that really cut me deep.
“Ruby,” he says in a deep, rough voice. “What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t look happy to see me. He actually looks scared . . . angry. He blocks the view of his apartment, leaning against the door frame for support instead of me.I’m not wanted here.
“I . . .” I’m at a loss for words. This wasn’t how I envisioned this meeting going. I expected him to be a little happy to see me. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” It’s a weak way of greeting him, but I don’t want to scare him by announcing I know about his very private life.
“I’m fine. You shouldn’t have come over.” If I didn’t know Bodi, I would think he’s hiding another woman behind that door, but that’s not the case with him. He’s hiding something, but it’s not another woman.It’s his heart.
“Bodi . . .” I feel tears forming, and I chastise myself. I have to be strong for him. “What happened in Rio, can we talk about it?”
“There is no need to,” he clips out, not looking me in the eye.
“But—”
“Ruby, I meant what I said, I can’t do this. It was a mistake in the first place, okay? I should have never let it get this far along.”
“What?” I ask, needing him to repeat all of that. Did he just say our love was a mistake?
Still not looking me in the eyes, he says, “It’s over.”
Now I’m angry. “It can’t be over. Bodi, Eva told me everything that happened.” His head shoots up from that announcement, fury in his eyes.
“She what?”
I gulp, a little nervous at seeing this hostility in Bodi. “She told me what happened to your parents. It’s not your fault, Bodi. Let’s just talk—”
“That’s not your assessment to make, and she had no fucking right in telling you.” He drags his hand through his hair out of frustration.
“Bodi, it’s me. Let’s talk this out.”
“There is nothing to talk out,” he snaps at me. “We’re done. So just fucking leave, forget about me. I’m not worth your time.”
“You are!” I shout back, trying to get it through his head. “Bodi, I love you.” He closes his eyes as if my words pain him. Standing strong, I continue on, “I know I was put on to this earth to love you, Bodi. I was brought into your life to help you live, to help you love, and to help you show your true colors. To help you be proud of who you are. Don’t throw that away.Don’t throw us away.Don’t throw away us because you can’t accept who you are, because you can’t accept what we have. I was made for loving you.”
“I accept who I am,” he says in a tortured voice. “I’m a fucking murderer, a fuck-up, a pathetic man.” He points to his temple. “Get that through your head, Ruby. I’m fucking nothing. We are fucking nothing. It’s over.”
Tears stream down my face. “But I love you, Bodi.”
He shakes his head. “If that’s the case, then you have no fucking clue what love is.”
Before I can answer, he shuts the door and locks it up. I listen in shock as he repeats the process of locking three times.
I’m bleeding. My soul is bleeding on the stoop of Bodi’s condo, and there is nothing I can do about it. He wants nothing to do with me. He wants nothing to do with my love. He doesn’t believe me.
We’re done. So just fucking leave, forget about me.
The once solid, all-consuming, and powerful connection I thought I shared with the man immediately evaporates from my grasp, leaving me feeling empty, alone, and grieving for a future that was ripped away from me.
We’re done. So just fucking leave.
Darkness eclipses me as I drive myself to my apartment. I don’t bother unpacking. I crawl into bed and listen to the silence in my empty apartment: my apartment that was once filled with the sweet, addicting laughter of Bodi Banks, that was once filled with the sexy moans of Bodi Banks, that was once filled with the ruggedness of his voice.That was once full.
