Page 113 of Stroked Long
He helps me up and then steps away, gripping the back of his neck and looking at the ground. “Fuck,” he mutters to himself, his breathing still a little erratic.
I want to help him, I want to ease the tension coiling inside of him, and I want to make him smile again.
Stepping closer despite what he asked me to do, I wrap my arms around him and snake one of my hands under his shirt so I’m touching his bare skin. I rest my head on his chest and hold on to him tight. We stand there for a few seconds, him stiff as a board, until he finally gives in to my embrace.
His cheek rests on the top of my head and his arms pull me in close. This was the kind of welcome I was looking forward to, lost in his arms.
“I missed you so much,” I say, pulling away to look up at him, continuing to rub his back with my fingers in a soothing motion. With each pass, I can feel him let go of his rigidity just a little more.
From my confession, his eyes squeeze tight before he opens them back up, giving me a beautiful view of his deep blue eyes. Shadows lurk in them and I wonder if he will ever tell me about his childhood, about what happened in his past that made him the man he is today.
“Please don’t do that.” His voice strains while he talks.
“Do what?”
“Walk around here by yourself. It’s dangerous, Ruby. This is the perfect time for locals to take advantage of tourists. I couldn’t stand the thought of something fucking happening to you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say honestly. “I just thought if I met you outside and not in the hotel, no one would see us together.”
“I don’t fucking care if people see us together.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, why would I? If anything, I would be happy for someone to catch us together so they can see how fucking lucky I am.” He pauses and brings my head to his chest by pressing against the back of my head. “Jesus, Rubes. You scared me so fucking bad. I can’t have anything happen to you. Promise me you won’t walk around alone. Promise me.”
“I promise,” I say quickly, wanting to erase his panic. “I’m sorry, Bodi. I had no idea. I won’t do it again.”
“Thank you.” He exhales and kisses the top of my head. “Just don’t do it again,” he repeats one more time.
“I won’t.”
As we stand there, tourists and locals bustling around us with their beach gear, I listen to Bodi’s heartbeat slow down, returning to a normal beat. I ache. Knowing I caused him such panic, especially now when he needs nothing more than to relax, I feel awful.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Bodi. Can we start over? This wasn’t how I wanted to see you after being apart for so long.”
“Yeah, give me a second,” he says, gripping me a little tighter, his face buried in my hair, as if he’s trying to fully soak me in.
Everything about his hold is loving, protective, consuming, a feeling I don’t want to lose . . . ever.
“Okay,” he breathes out and then takes a step back. He adjusts his hat and gently smiles at me. With the corners of his lips twitching up, he says, “Hey, Rubes. I fucking missed you, baby.”
I can’t help it, I grin widely. “I missed you too, handsome.”
Both his hands grip my cheeks and bring my lips to his. The minute our mouths connect, I melt into his body, using him for support as my entire body tingles with delight and satisfaction. This strong, yet damaged, man missed me. It’s a sentiment that will never get old for me. I hope he feels the same way.
When he pulls away, a small part of me feels empty as if our bodies are connected intimately, and I’m whole. With one hand gripping my cheek, he glides the other down my arm until our palms are touching and our fingers link together. He leans forward one more time, kissing me lightly, just enough to leave me wanting more.
The warm smile on his face is endearing, addicting. I did that, I put that there. It will never get old.
“What do you want to do?” he asks, his eyes full of happiness.
“I want to walk the beach. Are you hungry at all?”
“No, I had a protein bar.”
“Of course you did.” I laugh. “Was it wrapped in kale?”
“It was, actually.”
