Page 112 of Stroked Long
“Speedos.”
Yup, that’s all I say, but that’s all they need. They got their answer from my awkwardness. From my avoidance of all eye contact, from my one-worded sentence. It’s plain as day.
I don’t just think Bodi is hot. Nope, I love that damn man, and I’m pretty sure if I looked in a mirror right about now, it would be written all over my face.
***
Bodi: Where are you?
Ruby: On a bench by the beach, right outside the hotel.
Bodi: By yourself?
Ruby: Yeah . . .
I stare at my phone, waiting for a reply but receive nothing. Was I not supposed to meet him? He sent me a text earlier, letting me know he was done with his required press interviews and his end of the day chat with his coach.
I’m confused.
Glancing away from my phone, I look out into the wide Atlantic Ocean. The water is not something I feel like dipping my toes in after all the reports I’ve heard on the news depicting how unsanitary it is. But still, it’s pretty to look at. Thankfully, there are no floating body parts in my view. A part of me wants to believe that the media was stirring the pot. I mean, really, would the International Olympic Committee really allow their athletes to swim in body-part-infested waters? I don’t think so.
I will say one thing about Rio, the locals are not afraid to show skin. And what nice skin they have, all bronze and beautiful, compared to my fair white hue. I’m a total tourist. That and the fact that I’m actually covering up my girl bits. I didn’t receive the memo on the thong two-piece bathing suits.
Would Bodi want me to wear one of those? Would he think it’s sexy or would he want me to cover up?
I think he would be quite pleased in the bedroom if I wore something like that, but out in public there would most likely be some kind of animalistic, predatory kind of attitude he would take on. At least that’s what my little in-love heart would want.
I’m in love.
I’m in love with a man who struggles with his emotions, who’s shut every door on his soul, leaving the tiniest windows open for me to climb through. He’s a beautiful man, with an even more beautiful heart but doesn’t seem to see that, which terrifies me. If he can’t see the kind of man he really is, then will he be able to identify the feelings he has for me? Will he be able to reciprocate the all-consuming obsession I have with his loving soul?
My guess . . . no.
But, that’s not going to stop me from showing him, from helping him open his eyes to a world he’s been hiding from. One smile at a time, that’s all I need. One smile equals progress.
“Ruby!” I turn around to see Bodi jogging to me in a pair of navy blue athletic manpris cinched below his knees, a white T-shirt, and a Team USA hat. He’s wearing flip-flops, which I’ve never seen before, but what I can’t get over are his manpris. What man can pull off such a pant? Uh, Bodi-freaking-Banks can. Why does he have to be so damn gorgeous? It’s almost unfair.
“Bodi!” I say cheerfully, standing to give him a hug. I go to wrap my arms around him when he grips my shoulders and looks me in the eyes, sheer panic running through them.
“Are you okay?” His breathing is extremely labored and there is sweat trickling down the side of his face.
“I’m fine. Are you okay?”
He swallows hard and steps back, gripping both sides of his bill, he squats down and from my view, I can see the muscles in his back tense with each breath.
I’ve seen this Bodi. This is the same Bodi I witnessed in Target. He’s on the verge of a panic attack and I have no idea why.
Gently squatting next to him, I place my hand on his back and speak softly, like the time I watched Eva do so in the coffee house a while back.
“Bodi, everything is okay. Just breathe.”
“Don’t,” he says in a clipped tone. “Just sit on the bench.”
“Bodi, let me help you.”
“Help me by not hanging out in a foreign city by yourself where anything could happen.” He stands quickly, knocking me over so my butt is planted in the sand. The minute he sees me on the ground, his face pales as he quickly squats in front of me. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Rubes.”
“It’s okay. Caught me off balance.” I try to laugh it off, making light of the situation.
