Page 90 of Restraint

“Goodbye.”

I end the call.

My eyes fall closed in the bliss of a workday well done. There’s nothing like it.

I grin.

Except for the bliss of a night well done with Holt.

A laugh escapes my throat as I think about how stupid that is. Yet it’s true.

My phone rings from beside me. I pick it up and look at the caller ID.

Sienna.

“Hey,” I say, shielding my eyes from the sun.

“Well, don’t you sound chipper.”

I shrug. “I’ve had a good day.”

“And …?” she prods.

“Well, I slept in. Had a great cup of coffee followed by a long, hot shower.” I hold back a laugh about how much I needed said shower. “Then I worked all day by a gorgeous pool and listened to the birds chirp, and I got a ton of stuff done. It’s been a good day.”

“Better,” she says. “But you left out all the Holt stuff.”

I shift in my chair. “I actually haven’t seen him since about three this morning. I’m guessing he’s been at work.”

“So this happiness is residual. This is a good sign, Blaire.”

Is it?

Of course being happy is a good thing. It’s much better than the alternative. But is being happy in this situation truly a good thing?

I don’t know.

“I don’t know about it being a good sign,” I say. “But it feels nice not to feel like the world is sitting on my shoulders for once.”

“That’s how I feel with Walker.”

I snort. “He could barely write checks to pay his bills before you came along.”

“Well, I do it for him now, so he still can’t do that,” she admits with a laugh. “But being around him makes me feel safe. I can mess up—you do remember how I met him, right?”

I laugh as I remember Lance explaining how Sienna damaged Walker’s truck. “I do.”

“So, yeah, you get it. You know what I mean.”

I think about my time with Holt, and I do kind of get what she means. If I feel anything around Holt, it’s … that. Confident enough to be myself. To speak my mind. To share my wounds.

To be me.

Still, I don’t know if it’s a good thing.

“When are you coming home?” she asks.

“I just got off the phone with Yancy. She said my building should be opened by the end of the week.”