Page 97 of Coming Home

Chapter 45

ZOE

It had been three months since Spencer died in my arms. Three long fucking months. Each time I woke, I hoped it would get easier, but it never did. There was still a gaping hole inside of me that I didn’t know how to fill.

Derek and I had packed up and moved back to the city after a few weeks. Moving in together seemed like a good idea at the time, but we quickly realised my place was just too damn small. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I know I was clinging to him like he was my life line, but he was the only person who understood. The only one who could. Quickly, we put my apartment on the market and moved into a bigger one. We needed space, not to be apart. Apart would break us. And we were already so broken.

Some days I held it together. Some days I fell apart spectacularly. But at night, that’s when it was the worst. I’d fall asleep imagining being wrapped in Spencer’s embrace and wake up drenched in a cold sweat. Every night, as the nightmares took over, Derek would stumble into my bedroom and hold me until the torment passed.

“Zoe, I know you hate yourself for everything that happened, but there’s something you need to know,” Derek told me late one night as he stroked my hair, calming me.

“What?” I asked nervously.

“I don’t know if he ever told you, but Zoe, you have to know that you coming home was the best thing that ever happened to Spencer. I’d known him forever, but I’d never seen him smile the way he did when he mentioned you. I know everything that happened sucked, but if you believe anything, Zoe, believe this. He loved you, Pippi. Every day. And you coming home, that was the greatest gift you could have ever given him.

The End…for now.