Page 180 of Inside Out

I roll my eyes. “You’re so annoying.”

He opens the door and bows. “Milady.”

I scoff and take his hand as I get in. He brings my knuckles to his lips then closes the door. Rowan slides in behind the wheel, buckles himself in, and drives off.

“Can we listen toAladdinplease?” Jacob asks in his sweet baby voice. “Pleeeeeease.”

Rowan chuckles and hands me his phone. “Yeah, little monster.”

I smile as I unlock his phone, his lock screen is a family picture we took by the lake on Fourth of July when the twenty-two—yes,twenty-twoof us now, including one that is still in their mother’s belly—went to Lana and Christian’s house for a night of swimming, barbecue, and fireworks.

It still throttles me sometimes how far we’ve all come.

That’s another thing I might have missed if I hadn’t gotten help when I did. I used to hate when people said,it gets better.But sometimes, it does. And when it does, you look around and count the things you have that you didn’t before and you say to yourself,wow.

I’ve got two amazing kids in the back seat, and the love of my life beside me.

So, yes.Wow.

I reach over and curl my hand around his nape, my thumb rubbing over the black ink behind his right ear.

The same semicolon I have behindmyright ear.

Rowan might have been okay with a courthouse wedding, and I was okay with it too—but friends like mine would have never let me get away with it. Especially Isabelle, who loves love. Hopeless romantic that one—even now.

I hit play on his favorite song fromAladdinbut fifteen seconds in, Jacob protests, “No, no.Lion King.”

I snort. “Okay, honey munch.”

I scroll until I find “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” from the soundtrack.

It’s a ten-to-fifteen-minute drive to Lana and Christian’s, and by the time we park in their giant driveway, everyone’s cars are there—filled with car seats.

We unload, unbuckle our Jacob—who runs into Lana and Christian’s house the moment the door opens, already knowing his way around. Rowan grabs Lilac from her car seat and from here, I hear other squeals and songs of laughter coming from all the other kids invading the house, and I grin.

A warm, heavy hand finds the small of my back just before it curls around my waist, and his lips brush my cheek. “You okay, sweetheart?”

I nod with Rowan’s chin resting on my shoulder, his arms ensconcing me. Our baby girl nestles into his shoulder the way I do. “I’m okay. You?”

“Better than okay,” he whispers and kisses my neck. “Should we go inside yet?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Lana stands at the door with her smile and dimples, a welcoming hand waving us in. “I was wondering when you’d get here.”

“Rowan took forever to get ready,” I tease and Lana holds out her hands to take a box. “He had to touch up his roots.”

Rowan gasps behind me. “LaLa knows damn well I get them done at the salon.”

Lana sucks her teeth. “RoRoneverbox dyes.”

“Thank you,” Rowan says, and I roll my eyes.

“Where is everyone?” Only on special occasions like this, when everyone is walking in and out, does Lana let us keep our shoes on.

“Elena and Luca are on their way, Julian is in the back with his girls, and Isa is changing a diaper.” Lana shrugs. “She offered—said she misses it.”

I snort. “Sure she does.”

Out back, by the pool, it’s sunny and warm. The rays sink into my skin as I set the table with Lana and Isa. Everyone else is diving into the pool and playing a game of volleyball. Grace is playing games with Jacob and Lola, and Lilac is already in the pool with her daddy, sitting on his shoulders and watching through her baby sunglasses as they play volleyball. Christian holds Nina in his arms and Aaliyah floats in the shallow end with floaties on her arms, taking in the sun.

We all have everything we’ve ever wanted, I think. I know I do.

We’re all so happy, and even though we’re all far from perfect,thisis perfect. As perfect as anything can get.

And I think my life is so wonderful, so fucking full that when I think there isn’t space for any more of all the great things, more somehow make themselves fit. The bad days are bad days. The good days are good days.

But this life?

It’s an incredible one, even when I feel a bit inside out.