Page 75 of Snake (Road Rebels MC 3)
“Okay…but, it’s only six in the morning,” she said, in a meek apologetic voice.
“Get ready, now, Noelle,” I snapped, and she could see the rage in my eyes.
Whipping around, she rushed out of the living room and back in the bedroom. I went to the washing machine and started pulling clothes out to wear because I didn’t want to follow her into the bedroom. If I did, I knew that I was going to cave. I wouldn’t be able to resist her, and I would want to hold her again.
But the best thing I could do for her now was to keep my distance.
***
On the bike, Noelle had her arms loosely wrapped around me. I knew I had been wrong for being short with her earlier, but I had no other choice. I needed her to hate me, and I needed her to realize that she had no future with a guy like me.
She had grudgingly given me the address of her apartment when we got on the bike, and now I was riding to it in silence. I couldn’t help but recall how the previous night, on our way back from the restaurant, Noelle had held me tightly. She had placed her chin on my shoulder, and I was able to breathe in her sweet floral perfume. Noelle had her breasts pressed against my back when we rode together the previous night. Today, she was sitting with a distance of at least a few inches between us.
I had made it very obvious to her that our little slice of paradise was quickly coming to an end.
Outside her apartment, I parked the bike, but I didn’t get off. Noelle hesitated before she jumped off the bike, tucking her clutch under her arm and walking around to the front to face me.
Her red cocktail dress was crumpled, her hair was ruffled and messy, and her makeup from the previous night was smudged and rubbed off. She still looked radiant, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And I knew that sex with anyone else wasn’t going to be the same again.
“I guess this is it then?” she asked in a meek voice and looked over her shoulder at her apartment building. Noelle’s face was pinched tense, her blue eyes were narrow and small as she tried to avoid my gaze. It was breaking me to see her like this, to do this to her. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and stroke her hair and apologize for everything I was doing wrong.
“This is it,” I said instead, and I could see her studying my face.
“Can I expect you to call?” she asked and I clenched my jaw in response. I didn’t want to actually say the words, but she was staring at me with her eyes widened and hopeful.
“Tank, I have no idea what is going on. One minute we were in bed, happy to be with each other and within a few minutes everything changed. Now it feels like you’re forcefully pushing me out of your life,” she said, and I could hear the strain in her voice. I wished I could tell her the truth, but that would be a mistake. I had promised her that I would never do anything to hurt her and I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to keep that promise.
“Yeah, well, things have changed,” I said, trying to sound as distant as possible.
Noelle’s mouth fell open as she stared at me.
“How? What things changed and how did they change in a matter of minutes?” she asked and I could see her shoulders quaking from the tension in her bones. She was struggling to come to terms with it…I knew it had taken a lot of courage on her part to spend the night with a guy like me. I knew she was feeling for me, everything I was still feeling for her.
“I’ve realized that you’re not the right woman for me, and I don’t want to string you along or use you,” I told her and Noelle’s brows crossed, her lips were still parted and she was breathing heavily through her nose.
“I’m not the right woman for you?” she asked, and I stared back at her, daring her to disagree with me.
“What is wrong with me? Who is the right kind of woman for you, Tank?” she barked, her voice rising in the silence and stillness of the early morning.
I breathed in deeply, and as much as it hurt me to do it, I shrugged my shoulders in response.
“I don’t believe this, this can’t actually be happening…we barely started to get to know each other, and now you’re breaking up with me?” she cried, and I could see tears glistening in her eyes.
My instinct was to pull her into my arms, to protect her and keep her safe by keeping her there in my arms. But that wasn’t practical, and it was never going to work. The only real way by which I could keep her safe was by pushing her away.
“Fuck you!” she hissed and then turning on her heels, she charged up the steps to the door of her building. I watched her go, her ample ass swinging in her tight dress. I wanted her again, the moment my gaze fell on her body, I wanted her…but this was the right thing to do. She was going to be safe from today.
The DKs would lose interest in her when they realized that I wasn’t seeing her anymore. That they wouldn’t be able to use her as leverage against me.
I heard the door slam as she stormed into the building.
I waited a few more moments on my bike, staring up at the windows, wondering which one was hers. Then eventually, when there was no doubt in my mind that Noelle was safely inside her home, I drove off.
I was gripping the gears too tightly as I rode and I knew I had to get to the Rusty Pelican. It was too early to call Church, but I knew that Axel was usually always there because he was an early riser.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Noelle, and what I had just given up, how much I had hurt her in the span of one hour. But by hurting her and myself now, I was going to save her life, and that was what mattered.
CHAPTER 12
Noelle
I shouldn’t have dropped the L word. Now I was convinced that it was what had caused the change in Tank’s mind about me.
I stood by the window of my apartment for a few more minutes, watching the empty space that Tank and his bike had left behind. Surprisingly, even though he had just dumped me, he had waited there till I was inside my apartment before he rode off.
I jerked away from the window, rushing to my couch so I could crash into it. I didn’t care how ruined my dress was, or the fact that I needed to shower and change and leave for my shift at the hospital. All I cared about was how stupid I had been.
I had used the L word too soon. Even though I hadn’t exactly declared my love for him, I had asked him to make love to me. I should have known, that a request like that would have a man like him, running in the opposite direction. I barely knew him. We were sleeping together. Our time together was supposed to be fun and casual, and I had dropped a bomb on him in the middle of that.
Of course, he thought I wasn’t the right kind of woman for him. No matter how sweet and polite he was with me, it was foolish of me to assume that Tank wanted to keep me safe, that he wanted to take care of me.
I screamed into the cushion on my couch, muffling my voice with it. I should have followed the things my parents had taught
me, I should have followed my mind…instead, I had followed my heart.
Everything about Tank had signaled that he was going to be the wrong man for me, that he was good at breaking hearts. I should have known that he wanted nothing more from me than my body and when he had that, he was just going to leave me.
The previous night had been magical, and I was foolish enough to believe in that sort of magic. At the restaurant and then at his apartment after we had sex, we had talked. Even though Tank had needed some coaxing and cajoling, he had finally opened up.
Underneath that tough masculine biker exterior, I had discovered a man who had simple needs, and a good heart. That was the impression I had got, and it had made me fall for him harder. To me, as hot as Tank was, he was more than just a hunk of meat. He was a man I was capable of falling in love with, someone I could immediately see returning home to, to waking up beside every morning.
And we’d had that, even if it was only for a few hours…I had experienced waking up in his hours and making love.
That thought reminded me again of what I had said.
Tank, will you make love to me?
I screeched into the cushion again, embarrassed and angry about what I had said. How could I have expected Tank to understand? Why did I think that he was feeling the same way about me, as I was about him? I had no doubts that Tank was well experienced with women. Hell, I knew for certain that no hot blooded woman would be able to resist fantasizing about him if they laid eyes on him. He exuded sex and masculinity and being good in bed. His silence added to his strength and charm, and I knew he could have any woman he wanted.
So, why had I been foolish enough to assume that he had wanted me? That he had wanted me for anything more than as a sex toy for one night? And then I had said something as stupid as using the word “love,” with a guy I barely knew.
